I climb quickly out of bed and pull on my robe, shutting the door behind me so Charlie doesn’t wake up, before hurrying downstairs.
April starts to cry properly as I approach her cot, so I murmur soothingly. She reaches up to me. I know I should probably try to settle her in her cot like Charlie does, but I can’t resist. I pick her up and cradle her in my arms and her crying stops instantly.
It’s cold in her room – did we leave the air conditioning on? Damn, we did – obviously had other things on our minds. I walk over and switch it off while singing to her quietly. Her eyes are wide and they’re staring up at me in the darkness. I brush my finger across her cheek and smile down at her, my heart threatening to burst.
I know I shouldn’t bring her into bed with me, but her arms and legs are cold and I want to warm her up. I pull back the covers of Charlie’s bed and slide in between the cool sheets, drawing her close and humming until she falls back asleep in my arms.
That’s how Charlie finds us the next morning.
‘Hey,’ I whisper, smiling up at him sleepily. April is still out cold.
‘Hi,’ he whispers in return, but he’s not smiling. He looks deeply apprehensive.
‘What’s wrong?’ I ask with alarm.
The shutters come down on his eyes. ‘We’ll talk later.’
My insides turn to ice.
‘Have you got some work you can do today?’ he asks me over breakfast. He did the thing with his hand again, drawing it away when I tried to touch him.
‘Yes, why?’
‘Alain has some time off. He’d like to spend our last day with April and me.’
‘Oh, okay.’ I understand why they’d want it to be just the three of them, but I can’t say I’m not disappointed.
‘I thought I’d see if we can get the sitter again tonight. We could eat at the restaurant in the cave.’
From his detached tone, I have the feeling this is not another date night. Seems like it’s time for our talk...
I spend the day exploring the area, taking photographs and making notes, but although the setting inspires me, I can’t get rid of the nausea that’s constantly churning away.
Charlie returns early that evening and my pulse races at the sight of him, but, when I ask if I can help with April’s bedtime routine, he turns me down.
‘Just let me get her sorted tonight,’ he says, giving me a pleading look before he goes into his room and shuts the door behind him.
Later that night, we find ourselves in one of the most romantic, picturesque places in the world. Our tables are set upon the sand and over our heads, stalactites drip down from the cave ceiling, while out in front of us, Thailand’s ethereal islands seem to float away in the distance, on top of the calm, still water.
I can’t enjoy a second of it.
‘Can you tell me what’s going through your mind?’ I ask gently.
‘I’m still trying to work it out.’ His voice is heavy as he stares into his wineglass. ‘I just want to do the best thing for April.’
‘You think I’d ever hurt her?’
‘You’realreadyhurting her.’ I breathe in sharply at his words. ‘She’s already developed an attachment to you that’s causing her pain.’ He leans forward in his seat, pinning me with a disconcertingly hard stare. ‘The weeks after you left weretough.She didn’t just miss you: shepinedfor you. She’s getting older now, she’s starting to understand. I can’t have her thinking you’re her mother if you’re just going to up and leave us when you get bored.’
‘Charlie!’ I gasp.
‘It’s true, isn’t it?’ he asks challengingly. ‘It’s not like you haven’t done that before.’ His eyes are glimmering in the candlelight, but he’s not upset: he’s determined. ‘I don’t want the next piece of your heart, Bridget.’
I recoil, stunned.
‘No.’ I shake my head. ‘You don’t get it. You think this is just another relationship for me.’ I don’t give him a chance to confirm or deny it. ‘You’re wrong,’ I state. ‘I’ve never felt like this before. I really think this is it.’
‘And your blog?’
