‘Yeah.’ He nods. ‘Thank you.’
‘I was about to wake April.’ I’m pausing at the entrance to his room.
He indicates for me to lead the way. I set about opening the wooden venetian blinds while he walks over to her cot.
‘Baby,’ he says softly, leaning in to brush her arm. ‘Was everything okay today?’ he asks me as daylight begins to fill the room. There area lotof blinds in here.
‘It was perfect,’ I reply with a smile, nodding at the cot, where April has now woken.
‘Hey,’ he says sweetly. She makes a sound of annoyance.
‘Hello,’ I say, going over to peer into her cot.
She glances from him to me, me to him, and then stretches her arms out to me.
‘Aah,’ I say with delight, bending down to lift her up. As I cuddle her to me, I turn to smile at Charlie. But he doesn’t return the warmth of my gaze. In fact, his expression is bleak.
Alain is expecting us for an early dinner at his restaurant tonight. Apparently, he wasn’t happy at breakfast when Charlie refused his offer of lining up another babysitter so we could enjoy his full five-star dining experience. Charlie said he thought two sitters in two nights was excessive, so we’d eat early and bring April with us.
I have a feeling he’s also trying to avoid a repeat of last night.
We didn’t get much of a chance to speak earlier, so I bring my camera with me and, when we’re settled, I ask him to talk me through the shots he took up on the cliff top. As the evening wears on, he seems to feel more at ease in my company.
I’m longing to be tactile with him, but, when I touch his hand, he withdraws, putting it under the table. He glances towards the restaurant, and I know he’s worried that Alain might see us and draw conclusions. I hope that’s all it is.
Later, when April’s in bed, I ask Charlie if he’d like to watch a film.
‘I think I might be too tired,’ he replies, looking at me apologetically from his position on the armchair. ‘Sorry,’ he adds when my face falls.
I’m trying so hard to return us to a happier, more normal place. Well, normal is the wrong word, but I’d do anything to relieve some of the awkwardness and tension that’s vibrating between us.
He obviously feels sorry for me, because he says, ‘Do you want to put some music on?’
He knows what will cheer me up. I smile at him and head spiritedly towards the stairs, returning with my speaker. I find the song I want and pressPLAYbefore turning around to catch him observing me.
He realises I’ve chosen ‘Up Where We Belong’ by Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes from the moment the piano starts to play. It’s that instantly recognisable. His lips curve upwards as I raise one eyebrow at him, and then Jennifer Warnes begins to sing.
‘Whoknows what tomorrow brings...’
He laughs under his breath as I melodramatically and earnestly lip-sync to the lyrics from my standing position in the middle of the living space. I nod at him pointedly, urging him to come in when it’s time for Joe Cocker’s lines, but he shakes his head, smirking at me, so I act out his part instead, clapping my hand to my heart and pretending to climb mountains. He looks amused, but he’s still not singing.
I sigh and throw myself into the chorus and he, in turn, throws his head back and laughs. I’m still trying to get him to join in with me –don’t leave me hanging, buddy– but he resists.
I sway back and forth when Joe Cocker takes on the second verse, sighing dreamily as though I’m deeply in love – which I am, by the way – and then I take over again when Jennifer Warnes sings her part, pretending to be solemn and serious, while also thinking,Jesus, these lyrics are really fucking appropriate, actually.
I prompt him again when it comes to the chorus.Come on, Charlie, meet me halfway here!And then he does it! He screws up his face and mimics it perfectly. I burst out laughing, so full of love for him.
As the chorus repeats, I walk over to him, no longer lip-syncing along. His eyebrows pull together when I climb onto his lap.Going backwards is not an option...He doesn’t stop me, and, when the song finally fades away, we’re still staring at each other. I slowly bend down and brush my lips against his. He lets me, even though I know he’s feeling torn right now. I’m straddling his lap and his body responds beneath me when we deepen our kiss.
‘Bridget...’ he whispers against my lips.
I try to kiss his worries away.
Chapter 44
I wake up with a start. Through a crack in my blinds, I can see that it’s still dark outside. My eyes are stinging and my body is weighed down with exhaustion, so I don’t know what roused me. I turn my head to see Charlie, fast asleep in my bed beside me. My butterflies go berserk at the memory of all of the intimate things we did to each other last night.
Then I hear her:April.
