‘This is what I had on earlier,’ he points out with a grin.
I shrug at him and his smile widens.
‘Shall I grab April?’ I need to get away before he sees me blushing. Again.
‘Go for it.’
I find her in the bathroom, coasting around the bath with a yellow rubber duck. She looks up at me.
‘We’re going to go and get some dinner now,’ I say, kneeling down beside her. ‘Are you hungry?’ She nods. ‘Can I have a cuddle?’ I open up my arms hopefully. She complies, edging forward into my embrace.
The pressure in my chest as I lift her up and hold her to me is immense.
The restaurant has a bar area with a row of comfy-looking armchairs facing the water, so we decide to sit and have cocktails first, while Charlie peruses the menu for something to eat for April.
‘We could just sit here while she eats,’ he muses. ‘We might even be able to get her to fall asleep afterwards so we can have some peace and quiet.’
‘It’s lucky she’s still young enough to do that in her pram,’ I say. ‘I bet it gets more difficult as she gets older.’
‘Yeah,’ he agrees. ‘I reckon she’ll conk out pretty quickly. She’s still getting used to the time difference. How are you faring?’ he asks.
‘A bit out of it,’ I admit. ‘But the longer I hold out, the better I should feel tomorrow.’
I choose a lemongrass, lime and Thai basil mojito and Charlie goes for a margarita. He also orders a serving of mini fish and chips for April and some crispy prawns in coconut batter to see us by.
Maybe it’s the hazy sky, or maybe it’s the company, but I’m sure I’m witnessing the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen. It flows up from the horizon in a wash of intense pink and vibrant orange. It is utterly breathtaking. Charlie goes off to try to get April to sleep in her pram while I sit there, sipping my second mojito and just taking it all in.
‘Do you reckonwecould eat here?’ I ask when he returns because I really don’t want to move from this position into the main restaurant.
‘I don’t see why not,’ he replies, fixing a mosquito net to the front of April’s pram and sitting back down beside me. He stares contemplatively at the sky. ‘It’s no wonder Nicki loved it here.’
It hurts to hear the longing in his voice.
Ever since breaking up with Elliot, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about whether Charlie and I might have a future together. If anything does develop between us, I know it won’t –can’t– happen here. It’s too soon, and this trip, for him, is about April connecting with Alain. It’s about the wife he loved ‘to hell and back’ and the daughter she left behind. And for me, it’s about doing the best job that I possibly can with Nicki’s book. The last thing it is – the last thing it couldeverbe – is a romantic getaway for him and me.
I’d love him to start thinking of me as more than just his friend, but it’s not simply a case of small steps here. We’re talking teeny-tiny, miniscule,Borrowers-style steps. I’ll need to tread as carefully with him as if I were walking barefoot on shattered sea glass. This will take time. And we’ll have plenty of time once we get back to England and this book is finished. I care too much about him to risk screwing this up by rushing things.
‘I’m sorry,’ I say quietly. ‘I bet you wish she was here.’
He doesn’t reply for a long moment. ‘Yeah,’ he says heavily, but then he smiles at me. ‘I’m glad you are, though.’
I take a sip of my drink, feeling apprehensive. ‘How did Kate and Valerie react when you told them we’d all be here together?’ I ask.
He appears uncomfortable. ‘Not well,’ he replies. ‘I don’t think either of them has ever had a friend of the opposite sex before, so they don’t get it. I decided not to tell them that Elliot wasn’t coming after all.’ He flashes me a cynical look.
‘What would they do?’ I ask suddenly, unable to help myself. I do need to laysomefoundations. ‘What would they do if you and Iweremore than just friends?’
He lets out a single, bitter laugh. ‘Never speak to me again.’
My eyes widen. ‘Come off it. Did they say that?’ I don’t believe it.
‘They did actually,’ he replies.
A bad feeling washes over me.
‘?“If I ever find out that it’s more, I’ll never speak to you again.” Something like that.’
‘Kate actually said that out loud?’ I feel sick.
