Spring 1849, I think
The Others don’t celebrate the New Year, but I believe a year has passed because it is warm again and it was warm when I lost you.
I’m trying so hard to take care of Lydia. It’s almost like I’m taking care of you, but I think she’s as sad as I am. We’re a sorry pair and some part of me is glad you’re not here to see it.
Summer,
Ivy, Ivy, Ivy, Ivy,
I may have said my vows to her but it was you who was on my mind. My very soul was rebelling against itself as I stood before her and promised to be hers because I’ve only ever been yours. I’ll only ever be yours. Wherever you are, I hope you’re waiting for me. I’m still doing my best to be someone worthy of you, but I fear I’m getting further from it. I didn’t mean what I said to her, my love. The only person I’ve ever wanted to make a vow to was you. I picture our wedding all the time. I would have cried as you walked down the aisle. I would have made Pig bear the rings. You would have been so, so beautiful.
I’m sorry.
Emmett
Autumn Equinox
Sweetheart,
Do you remember the first night we met in the carriage? Did you know that I fell for you, right then and there? You probably did. You were always so much smarter than me.
Cold, again
Come back to me
Come back to me
Come back to me
I’ll be better this time. I swear it.
There are dozens more, but I’m crying too hard to continue reading, so I pull the most recent one off the stack.
High summer
Know that you live inside my every heartbeat. You’d say that line was corny if you were here.
But you’re not.
You’re not.
That’s the problem, isn’t it?
Are you haunting me yet? Send me a sign.
I love you. You’re the only person I’ve ever loved. Ever will love.
I should end this letter with goodbye but I am still not strong enough.
Emmett
I wipe my swollen eyes and know immediately what I must do.
With the letters clutched against my heart, I run down the corridor to Emmett’s room and pound on the door. It’s just like the first night I was here.
“Emmett De Vere, let me in this instant!” I command. I’m not evensure he’s in there, but if he doesn’t come to the door soon, I’ll try Lady Thalia’s rooms and then Lydia’s. I will not rest until I have found him.
But he doesn’t make me wait long.
