“I should have, I know that now. I was being stupid. I didn’t want you playing with my toys.”
“Where were you that night?” Bram asks. He doesn’t sound angry, just sad.
“I took a horse and cart and went to the coaching inn in Alton to drown myself in ale. I’m a horrible shot, and I didn’t wish to embarrass myself on your birthday. I’m sorry for my pride.”
“You’re notthatbad a shot.”
“You’re being too kind, as always.”
“What about Lady Ivy Benton?” Bram asks.
“I haven’t the slightest idea. Probably sick in her tent like she said. If any of the servants said she was with me, they were only generating pointless gossip. That would be scandalous, wouldn’t it?”
Bram sighs heavily. “You swear it?”
“I swear it,” Emmett offers immediately. “She’s not my type at all, so overly coddled by that embarrassing family of hers.” Anger rises like bile in my throat. I can’t believe he’s using what I told him in confidence as a weapon.
“She’s a lovely girl,” Bram says in my defense.
“Oh, without a doubt, and she’ll make a perfect bride for you, but I could never be content with a girl like that...” He trails off.
“Like what?”
“That inelegant.”
I think of beautiful Faith Fairchild and the way she walks, like she’s floating. Anger rises in my throat. I know Emmett can’t tell Bram anything other thanof course I don’t want her,but this rejection feels personal.
“I happen to like her the way she is,” Bram replies.
“All the better. Come, brother, let’s steal a bottle of champagne and leave this horrible party. I’m not having any fun. There’s only one pretty girl here, and I’ve already had her. I’m bored.” Faith, again. Always Faith.
Bram stands and Emmett approaches the couch. There’s a rustle of fabric as he slings his arm around Bram’s shoulder. The door closes behind them, leaving me alone in the room, my heart beating like I’ve just run a mile.
I swipe away my tears with the heels of my hands and enough pressure to bruise.
Emmett is right. We aren’t a match.
As soon as the door slams behind them, I spring from my hiding spot, press my ear against the door until I’m sure the coast is clear, and then run down the hallway, back into the thick of the party.
That night, once everyone else is asleep, I sneak out of the cottage and through the palace tunnels to Emmett’s room, for what I hope will be the last time.
Pig greets me at the hidden door, wagging his tail so hard his whole body shakes. Emmett is at his desk, reading by candlelight. He jumps as I enter.
“Ivy?” There’s no time for him to put on his cold mask of detachment. He’s staring at me, like he’s looking for something. His words from earlier play in my head.Coddled. Inelegant. A girl like that.
“Just one question, and then I’ll go. I’ll never ask again.”
He just nods, something dark flickering behind his eyes.
“Did you mean what you said to Bram? That I’m not the kind of girl you could ever want?”
“Don’t make me answer that,” Emmett replies tightly.
“Please, I just need to hear you say it.”Give me closure, I want to beg,then maybe I will stop remembering how your hands felt in the dark.
Emmett looks out the dark window. There are no stars tonight. “You’re making a fool of yourself, Ivy. Bram is going to be a wonderful husband. But you and I?” He sighs, his voice remote. “There was never going to be a you and I. I’m sorry if I ever made you think differently.”
I get the impression that this is a well-worn rejection speech, one he’s given to dozens of lovesick girls just as foolish as me.
