“Why not?” I snapped.
He looked so full of pity as he replied, “Because we do not love each other.”
I wouldn’t deny it. I did not love him, and I knew he did not love me. “But we like each other. That’s more than most people get.”
“Be honest with me, Faith. Do you think you could ever love me?”
There was no sense in lying. We didn’t do that to each other. There was so much I admired about Emmett. He was generous and funny and thoughtful. But it had been clear for months that he was never going to truly let me in. I couldn’t love someone content to keep me at arm’s length like that. We didn’t fit together as we should. “I don’t think so, no.”
He shook his head sadly. “Then I cannot marry you.”
He was a romantic in the way only men can afford to be. In that moment, I hated him for it. I picked up a crystal goblet from the table at his bedside and hurled it at him. He ducked, and it shattered against the wall.
I stopped in the doorway. “I’m going to hate you forever for this.”
Emmett’s eyes welled up with tears, like he had any right to be sad. “I hope that’s not true.”
I slammed the door without another word, and he didn’t chaseme. I hated him for that too. Some part of me still does.
He called to see me at my father’s home three days later with an unexpected proposal. “Bram is going to take a bride this season. It should be you.”
“Me?”
“Bram is kind. He’ll be a good husband.”
I knew Bram a little from my time with Emmett. He had accompanied us sometimes on walks around the grounds or games of croquet. He was good-natured and easy to be around. He always treated me with respect. I could do much worse than having him as a husband. Even if he didn’t choose me to be his bride, my father couldn’t say I didn’t try at having a proper season. It was my favorite kind of gambit, the kind I won either way.
“With my help, he’ll pick you.”
We shook on it like we were old pals, and for the first time, I felt hope bloom within me. I wished I could speak through time back into that little attic room and tell my mother her only daughter was going to be a princess.
I met with Emmett for a month leading up to the season and learned all of Bram’s likes and dislikes, practiced making conversation and dancing. Emmett had an odd hyperfixation on a maypole, but if there was one thing I was confident about, it was my dancing, so I didn’t worry much.
I dressed for the Pact Parade, certain that the winner was going to be me. I wore my confidence like armor, waiting until the last possible second to sign my name, just as Emmett had instructed me.He’ll want to feel as if he’s earned you. Bram is noble like that.Along with Emmett, my grandmother—posing as my godmother—put me through a gauntlet of lessons regarding society manners. I hada new trousseau of dresses and diamonds in my hair.
The two bright spots of my days were Hattie and Bea, my sisters, who had lit up the dark corners of my life. I despised my father with every fiber of my body, but he had made good on his promise of a relationship with my sisters.
I fought as hard as I possibly could during the May Queen competition, but was satisfied with second place. Emmett was adamant that I win, but what did it matter in the end, when I was prepared to shape myself into Bram’s perfect girl.
Later that day, when I entered the queen’s throne room to make my bargain, I felt very clever indeed.
“I want to know when people are lying to me,” I told her. I thought of me as a little girl and the lies my mother told me about my father. I hated dishonesty above all things.
The queen smiled a knowing smile. It looked unnatural on her sharp face. “In return, you may never tell a lie again.”
“Deal,” I said. I wasn’t a hypocrite. It seemed an easy enough bargain, better than giving up a toe and never being able to dance properly again.
“Is that what you’re afraid of, dishonesty?” she asked as soon as the deal was done. I thought on her odd question for a moment.
“I’m scared of all sorts of things. Of losing my freedom, of my body failing and having to stop dancing, of loving someone again and losing them like I lost my mother.”
“My, you are honest,” the queen replied.
I didn’t know exactly what form my bargain would take, but I soon found out.
Emmett came to me that night in the garden of my grandmother’s house. “It can’t be you. I’m sorry. I’ve changed my mind.”He stood with his hands in his pockets and had the audacity to look sad for me.
A little ping went off in my head. “You’re lying.”
