“I’ll go back to my room and get changed,” I said.
“No need,” Marnie said. “Do it here. We’ll wait downstairs.”
There was no questioning her. I’m not saying this to justify what I did. Or at least, not completely. But let’s remember that Constance had invited us into her room. She seemed completely fine with leaving me alone there. She smiled at me before they headed out the door. I startedunzipping my dress before it had shut behind them, intent on joining them in a few minutes.
Instantly I felt good in this new outfit. I clasped the bangle around my wrist and secured the earrings, admiring the look in the bathroom mirror. So this was how it felt when you were treated like a real up-and-coming actor.
Memories from the last few days bubbled to the surface. People like Odetta Olson and Fiona Pills took it all for granted. The designer clothes and luxury jewelry were part of their day-to-day. Even Constance acted like it was no big deal that she had Clapard jewelry lying around. They didn’t understand how many of us would kill for this kind of privilege. It wasn’t even about the clothes or all this expensive stuff, but what it represented. Recognition. Success. A certain standing in the world. The kind I’d never have.
If I’m being honest, Constance hadn’t exactly left the jewelry lying around. She’d locked the safe. But she was a stylist to the stars. She worked with Dorian Fisher, for god’s sake. I should have spent more time asking myself why she wanted to style me, too, and for free. But I didn’t want to. In mere days, I’d descend into the abyss of anonymity yet again. I’d have to embrace my fate of total irrelevance. Couldn’t I just have this for a little while longer?
I was bent over, putting my heels back on, when I noticed a black velvet pouch under the bed. I lay on the floor so I could reach it. When I did, I was surprised to feel that it was full.
Inside was a diamond necklace. Not just “a” diamond necklace. It was stunning, intricate, huge. It was shaped like a necktie, gem upon gem pieced together, that would wrap around the neck with a long, dangling piece with five much larger diamonds to rest on the chest. I’d never seenanything so sparkly.
My lips parted in awe. There were people in this world who had access tothislevel of luxury and just carelessly dropped it on the floor, forgotten under the bed like a dirty sock.
More likely, it had fallen out of the safe when Constance had retrieved the pieces she’d pulled out for me, but still, I couldn’t believe this insanely beautiful piece of jewelry was just…there. It was a sign; it had to be. Marnie and Constance had talked at length about giving me the treatment I deserved, with the looks to match. This was a cosmic encounter. This necklace was meant for me.
I couldn’t just wear it out of the room, or anywhere, obviously, so I can’t say why I slipped it into my clutch, but I did.
It genuinely didn’t feel like I was stealing anything. Constance didn’townit. I wasn’t taking anything away fromher.
That was my story, and I would stick to it.
And as I walked out to the doors to meet my new friends, I conveniently forgot a simple fact. All too often, the stories I’d told myself for the last decade had exploded in my face at the worst possible time.
Constance
At some point, I lost track of friendship. Not just friends in general—though I’d left most of those in New York—but the benefit of it altogether.First, there was my awful breakup in a city where I knew no one. I told some people around me—but the details were just too freaking sad.
Once I got the job with Carly Wolf, it became my whole life because I wanted it to. I had no social life. With all that free time, I quickly realized that I would happily fill all of my waking hours with my work as a stylist. I loved it. Carly’s team was small and we were pretty tight. I never spoke to any of them again. That’s what Carly had asked, but I wouldn’t have wanted to try to stay in touch, not after what I did. For three months I barely left my apartment, avoiding contact with my roommates as much as possible. Depression is a lonely hunter.
Cut to Cannes and meeting Marnie. She was the kind of person you wanted to hook yourself on to, like a wagon on a locomotive, because it was clear she was going to lead the way and take us places. I’m not going to blame her for steering my life so sharply down a ravine. She didn’t mean to. More importantly, I didn’t do anything to stop her.
The bar she found for us was all mahogany and antique chandeliers.The vibes were cozy, the lighting moody. It wasn’t the Cannes any of us imagined, but I think that was the point. Marnie knew what she was doing. She’d picked somewhere chic, the kind of place where three girlfriends meet after work to plot world domination over elegantly named cocktails.
“What’s wrong?” Lou asked as we sat down and perused the leather-bound menus.
I couldn’t stop staring at her. She was making a youthful outfit look like an avant-garde ensemble Anna Wintour might give one of her infamous chin nods to. She had so much presence, such a great way to hold herself, head royally high, skin aglow. And she knew exactly how to play the game. The designer had texted me a thumbs-up minutes after her post had gone live. She’d thought of tagging them without my needing to ask and gushed about the fabulous outfit.
She was a movie star. Well, a movie star in the making, but it was good enough for me. I saw it now, the dream client she could be. And she worked with Dorian—she haddirectaccess to him.Andshe wasn’t sleeping with him. Lou was all mine now. I needed her.
“Everything is perfect,” I said.
“Really perfect,” Marnie agreed.
“Totally.”
Lou only looked up briefly before scanning the menu again.
Marnie insisted we order finger food to share.
“We need to think, to strategize. There isn’t much time left.”
Why she’d wanted to associate with me after finding me midbreakdown in the fire escape outside Dorian’s suite, I couldn’t guess. And I didn’t want to.
Marnie’s timing had been just right. After many excruciating hours waiting for a sign from Dorian, I’d finally decided Ihadto go see him. It was a miracle I made it to the floor of his suite unnoticed, but I had afestival pass, and the staff had seen me around. Still, I couldn’t just turn up to his suite and knock-knock my way back into his bed. Though that’s exactly what I wanted. I stood there for a few minutes, ear pressed against the door to check if someone was coming to let me in. But no one did. The crushing disappointment made me dizzy as the tears threatened to come up. I’d gone through the emergency exit, terrified that someone in Dorian’s entourage would see me like this, a broken little bird.
