“Lucky?” I said, baffled. “I’d kill to swap places with you.”
“Because everything worked out soooooo well for me.” She pondered this for a moment, gazing down, like she was trying to steady herself. “I guess it did. That’s why I’m so happy. Why everything is soperfect.”
“It looks pretty perfect,” I said, though I wasn’t so sure about that. Not anymore.
She was down here, drinking alone. Not exactly the attitude of someone who was about to win the biggest award of her career.
She walked toward me and leaned in so close I could smell her sour breath.
“There’s nothing I can do for you. Nothing I could have done. You need me to be the villain in your story, like everybody else, but that’s onyou. We’re all battling our own demons. You deal with yours, and I’ll deal with mine.”
Then she was gone.
I had confronted Odetta Olson, and it had made no difference at all. But I couldn’t bring myself to go back upstairs. I needed to forget that I was stuck on this yacht with all these fancy people who were determined to keep the doors firmly closed. We could break into their parties, but I’d never make it through in the ways that mattered. I would never be anybody.
I found Constance first, after a long and slow wander through the quieter parts of the yacht. She was on the lower deck, crouched against a lifeboat, curled up on herself. Immobile and quiet. With the wind you could hardly hear the music. It was almost like we were somewhere completely different. All alone.
I wasn’t sure if she’d heard me approach, but Constance didn’t glanceup until I kneeled down in front of her, teetering on my high heels. I came to sit against the railing, close to her. We stayed silent for a long while.
When she looked at me for more than a few seconds, the sadness in her eyes hit me right in the heart.
“Everything’s great,” she said, her voice flat.
“Everything’s great,” I agreed.
I undid the straps of my shoes and removed them so I could cross my legs in front of me more comfortably.
“Best party ever,” she said.
“I’ve never had so much fun in my entire life.”
“I’m so happy.”
“I’m on a rocket ship to the moon.”
“Me too. It’s just beautiful, shining stars everywhere.”
“Everywhere,” I repeated in a whisper.
More silence.
A while later, muffled sounds of footsteps reached us. And then: the delicate sound of tears. Quiet little sobs in the dead of night. The lights hadn’t been turned on down here. We could hardly see each other.
“Marnie?” Constance said, incredulous.
She was swaying with the yacht, shoes in one hand, phone and empty glass gripped in the other.
She continued toward us without a word. Then, she tipped the glass upside down, like she was checking if it was empty. She shrugged and threw it overboard.
“I’m not drunk,” she said, when she noticed us watching. And indeed she sounded dead sober. “Unless you consider the fact that I’m drunk with rage.”
Marnie let out an exaggerated sigh as she sat down next to us.
She took a deep breath. “The reason I got us into this party, why I wanted you both here with me, was that I thought you could help me get to Dorian Fisher. That was a stupid idea. Just one of many. I don’t have what it takes.”
Shame pooled around me like an oil stain on the asphalt. If Marnie could suddenly be so honest, then so could I. I was going to tell them everything, right then. I wasn’t the rising star they thought I was. I would never be. I swear I was about to come clean. But two people were coming toward us, the wind blowing their angry whispers in our direction.
“Let go of me!” the woman screamed quietly.
