“There’s no need to worry.” My voice came out cool as I turned back to the shovel and pushed the blade with my foot. “You should return home, mei. This is a gruesome place.”
“But why areyouhere? Why are you digging up these graves?”
I tossed a chunk of dirt to one side. “That’s none of your concern.”
“Itismy concern if this has anything to do with Baba!”
I paused again and looked up. I’d never seen Lilan lose hertemper before, especially not with me. But I realized then that I hadn’t trulyseenmy sister in years. Gone was the timid, obedient girl who easily acquiesced to my orders. In her place was a grieving young woman who’d grown up without a mother or sister to guide her.
While I batted away the guilt buzzing by my ear, Lilan continued. “Baba died, and here you are unearthing graves in the middle of the night. You left me all alone in that house with Baba’s lifeless body lying just two doors down. And you haven’t even asked how I’m doing.”
“I don’t need to ask,” I said. “I know what you’re feeling, and I’m sorry—”
“No! You know nothing of my feelings!” Lilan clutched the front of her shirt, her tears mingling with the rain on her cheeks. “You’re always gone, off on another journey in another town. I know you do it to support our family, but even when you’re home, it feels as if you aren’t here. While you were out there working, I had to watch Baba grow weaker every day. I had to make sure he took his medicine and got enough rest and didn’t miss you or Mama too much.”
The buzzing guilt became a swarm. “Lilan, I—”
“I didn’t mind, of course.” The lantern trembled in her hand. “I loved Baba, and I was happy to help. But I felt like his only daughter, jie, a girl without a sister. We know almost nothing about each other because you never talk to me. And then you suddenly bring home a prince and a strange woman you’ve never mentioned before? Even worse, Baba died because the prince’s brother tried to poison him?”
I puffed out a frustrated breath, heart clenching. “I didn’t know—”
“Precisely! You didn’t know what would happen.” Lilanswallowed another sob. “But I knew even less. And I still don’t understand everything! I don’t understand why Baba had to die, because you’re still keeping secrets!”
I dropped the spade and wrenched my sister into my arms. Stroking the back of her head, I murmured, “I’m sorry, mei. It’s my fault, all of it. I’m so, so sorry.”
“Just tell me the truth,” she wept. “What are you doing?”
I leaned back, resting my hands on her shoulders. This time, I answered honestly. “I’m getting justice for Baba and these men. Prince Liqin killed them with his own hands. So I’ll make him face punishment for his sins.”
“What?” Horror overshadowed her anger as she stared across the muddy field. “Don’t tell me… you plan to reanimate the dead? An entire army? That’s madness!”
I tried not to flinch at her tone. It didn’t matter if my actions appeared mad. I was sure of my plan, and I intended to follow through with it.
“Perhaps,” I said tautly, returning to the shovel. “But I’ll succeed, I swear it.”
“You mustn’t do this!” Lilan grabbed my arm. “Baba wouldn’t want this!”
I resumed digging, my jaw set. “I’m doing this for him.”
“No, you’re doing this for yourself. You’ve let hatred consume you, and you’ll go so far as to disturb the dead for your own vendetta!”
“I’m sure they won’t mind getting vengeance on their murderer.”
Lilan yanked my arm again, pinching flesh. When I shook her off, she pressed, “You can’t do this, jie. This is wrong and unnatural. How can you, of all people, disrespect the dead like this?”
“I’m doing what I must,” I countered, echoing the words Master Zhang once spat. I’d thought he was wrong then. But I’d been a fool. “If you won’t help me, Lilan, you may as well return home. I’ll take care of this myself.”
“You know I can’t do either of those things.”
“Baba needs his burial rites,” I reminded her. “You must be there for him.”
“Do you even hear yourself?” Lilan shouted. “Baba is dead, and you’re still putting your family second.”
My entire body froze over, the last of my patience grown numb.
“Second?” I hissed, shooting her an icy glare. “I’vealwaysput this family first! Everything I’ve done has been for you and Baba—forus. Everything I’ve sacrificed has been for us. So do as I ask, Lilan, and leave. Carry out Baba’s burial while I carry out his justice.”
Lilan’s voice turned desperate. “You should be the one performing his burial rites. You should be keeping vigil over his body with me, then sending his spirit off as we bury him.”
