I couldn’t lie. Not to him. Not about this.
“I feel the same,” I confessed.
His face glowed with the triumph of a long-awaited sunrise, and I realized I was smiling too. Speaking the truth out loud steadied me in a way I hadn’t expected—that, and Ren’s calming presence draping around me as we saw each other fully, unveiled, for the first time.
He exhaled, running a thumb across my jaw. “You’re so beautiful, Siying.”
My smile grew. “So are you.”
A soft blush bloomed across his cheeks, and he bent down until our foreheads brushed.
“Do you want to kiss me?” I whispered, as I’d teased so many months ago.
He chuckled, remembering. “Yes, very much.”
And with that, I pushed onto my tiptoes and pressed my mouth to his, letting the bag of peaches slip from my hand. I didn’t care that their flesh would bruise and I’d have to face Mistress Ming’s ire. The doors in my mind—the ones I should’ve left alone—flung open, and sunlight, bright and unrestrained, heated me from head to toe.
Ren wound his fingers into my hair, pulling me closer until our heartbeats thumped in unison, separated only by skin and fabric. His breath was warm against my lips, faintly sweet as if he’d recently eaten fruit or candy. When I swept my fingers across the nape of his neck, his skin was wondrously, deliciously soft. A quiet moan escaped my throat, and I felt Ren smile against me.
By the time we parted for air, my body swooned as if drunk, and my thoughts needed a few seconds to reorganize themselves into something coherent. I leaned my forehead against Ren’s, breathing raggedly.
“Shall we go in for some tea?” he whispered, playful. “It seems you need a respite.”
I swatted his arm. “I believe you’re insulting my health.”
He caught my fingers and brought them to his smile. “I wouldn’t dare.”
“Mm-hm,” I hummed, hoping he couldn’t see my flushed cheeks. I busied myself with picking up the peaches I’d dropped.
Ren helped me gather the few that had rolled out of the bag. Then he gestured to the temple. “Lead the way.”
As we walked along the veranda, he reached over to take the bag from me, relieving my arm of the burden. The fruitprompted him to tell a story about the time he stole all the peaches from a royal banquet and ate them on the roof overlooking the festivities. His stomach had paid the price shortly after.
I relished the warmth of his hand in mine, remembering a time when I’d clung to my father and asked for forever. He’d promised it to me with all the well-meaning falsehood of a loving parent, not knowing just how soon he would have to leave.
It still hurt, that act of letting go, but I realized now that there was also freedom in doing it. Freedom to be my own person and discover new loves. Freedom to wander different paths, to experience more joy and struggle and growth. Freedom to hold on to other hands, regardless of who would leave and who would stay.
I’d always known that death was inevitable. But so was life, and I’d live mine in honor of the father I’d loved and the little girl I’d been.
“Siying,” Ren interrupted my thoughts. “Are you all right?”
“Yes,” I said, releasing a deep breath, one that felt as if it’d been lodged in my lungs for years. “Yes, I am.”
