“I...” Her voice broke.
“Oh, baby, no.” Tom huffed out a breath, like he felt helpless. “That’s not supposed to make you cry. What am I doing wrong?”
Cherry set her bagel on the bed and leaned into his chest.
He stroked her hair and let her cry—he couldn’t do anything to stop her.
“If this is what happens when we spend a night apart,” Tom said, “I’m done with all that.”
Cherry laughed. She felt ridiculous. She felt aimless. Like she really didn’t know how she was supposed to feel and what she was supposed to want. She knew what shedidwant—Tom. As desperately as ever. “Promise?” Cherry said.
Tom squeezed her tight, probably grateful for a sign of life. “I promise. I couldn’t sleep, anyway.”
“I missed you,” she said. If Tom had been here, Cherry’s mind never would have gone a-wandering.
“I missed your cute pajamas,” he said.
“I love you, Tom.” Cherry’s voice broke saying it.
“I love you, too,” Tom said very quietly. He squeezed her. “Do you know?”
Cherry nodded her head.
Chapter 28
Cherry wasn’t much of an artist.
But she wasenoughof an artist to know, even at twenty-five, that you couldn’t put a bridle on someone else’s creative expression. Art came out of people and it came out in messy shapes. Like dreams.
Cherry could separate it. (She thought she could.) Artist from art. Tom from that hulking figure with the scornful thoughts.
It really was like she’d read his diary.
Like she’d eavesdropped on his thoughts.
Tom didn’t makeThursdayfor other people to see it—she believed that. He didn’t promote it. Cherry wasn’t sure why he even posted it... But why did anyone put anything online? Why did Cherry complain about work on Twitter?
Tom didn’t want people to readThursday, and nobodydidread it. Cherry’s sisters would never see it.
What was Cherry supposed to say to him now—“You can’t put me in your comic”?
She knew already, after reading two years of his comic strips, that that would be like asking him not to think of her at all.
Tom was clearly using the comic to process his thoughts.Thursdaywas his RAM. It was his REM. Cherry couldn’t just crash into his life and tell him to stop. And she couldn’t hold herself back from his art without holding herself back from Tom himself...
Couldshe?
It would mean talking to Tom aboutThursday...
It would mean admitting that she’d read it. (Behind his back,against his wishes.) Admitting that she’d seen herself through his eyes...
It would mean parading that parody of a fat girl out in front of them, between them, and acknowledging her.
How could Cherry ever face Tom, if he knew that she knew?
Chapter 29
You’d think that, over the years, it would have gotten harder for Cherry to make peace with Tom’s comic strip...
