Cherry pressed her lips together. She tipped her head to one side and winced, like she was asking him to spare her feelings. (But if she wanted to be spared, she wouldn’t have raised this issue.)
Russ shook his head—and then said, “Because I was immature.”
Her chin wobbled. “Immature, how?”
He looked pained. “That was so long ago, I don’t want to talk about it.”
“But youdowant to talk about it,” Cherry said. “Youkeeptalking about it. You keep telling me how much you liked me back then.”
“Ididlike you.”
“But you didn’t, Russ.” Her voice broke. “You didn’t ask me out. You didn’t date me. You dated my best friend instead.”
“Cherry...”
“Why?”There. That was the question.
“Because I was twenty-three and half drunk,” he said, “and I took the path of least resistance.”
“I wasn’t resisting you.”
“No, I know. I—”
Cherry smiled at him. “Just say it. Just say you didn’t want to hit on a fat girl.”
He lowered his eyebrows. “That’s not true.”
She laughed. She was crying. “Itistrue. Don’t lie to me on top of everything else.”
“You weren’t even fat, Cherry.”
Cherry held her hands up by her head, palms out. “Okay. Let me up.”
“Cherry—”
She was already getting up. Russ moved off of her. She held up the front of her dress and kicked off her shoe.
“Cherry,please,” Russ said. “Don’t go.”
Cherry didn’t have anywhere to go—she was in no shape to walk out—so she went to his bathroom.
She closed the door and locked it. She turned on the faucet. She pulled up her skirts and sat on the toilet and peed.
Her head fell forward. Her shoulders started to shake.
Up rose all the feelings she’d been shoving down every time Russtalked about the past. (Cherryhadfeelings.) Every time he reminisced about how beautiful she was and how much he’d wanted to touch her.
Those were cuts not compliments.Whydidn’tyou touch me, Russ? Why didn’t youchooseme?
Cherry knew why! Because she was too fat!
She was too fat for every boy who looked and acted like Russ Sutton.
The only way Russ was different from the others was that he’dconsideredCherry. He’d toyed with the idea of her for a few minutes. He’d toyed withher.
She wiped herself and flushed the toilet, then got up to wash her hands. She left the faucet running. She sat on the edge of the tub. There was a hamper in here, and a pile of clothes on the floor. A child’s dirty soccer uniform. Cherry was sobbing.
She took off her cardigan and pulled up the top of her dress, putting her arms through the straps. She didn’t bother with the zipper.
