“How am I different?” he asked, already kissing her naked shoulder.
She touched his hair again. “You’re sweeter.”
He stood up, pulling away from her. Her bra was hanging from his hand. “You didn’t expect me to be sweet?” His eyebrows twitched down. “Wasn’t I sweet to you?”
“You...” Cherry looked at him. At his first-rate face. His expensive hair. Those deep-set blue eyes—even more arresting now that there were some lines around them. “No, you were sweet.”
He was. Always thinking of Cherry. Asking about her life. Bringing her coffee and treats whenever he brought something for Stacia. And he wassosweet to Stacia.
“I don’t know what I expected,” Cherry said. “I guess I didn’t expect this at all.”
“But...” Russ dropped her bra. He still looked serious. “...did you want it?”
Cherry’s mouth clicked open. Her mind went blank. There were tears in her eyes, she was pretty sure.Did she want it?
She nodded her head.
Russ clenched his teeth, and a little muscle jumped under his eye. He pulled Cherry against him with both arms and kissed her, hard. It was still sweet somehow. Tender. His hands were on her back. He was kissing her like... like...
Well, he was kissing her like he wantedher. Not just this. Like Cherry was a very specific person. To him. In his arms. At this moment.
She kissed him back.
When Russ eventually took a breath, they both got a little frantic.He bit her neck. He squeezed her breasts. She started unbuttoning his shirt, and he shook it off, then yanked his undershirt over his head with one hand. (He was the sort of guy who wore undershirts.)
She smiled at his bare chest. At the dark hair across his pecs and down his belly. He was pale. A different shade of pale than Cherry. Than Tom. “Russ...”
He pulled her toward her bed. Cherry unbuckled his belt.
They fell, then climbed, onto the bed. Cherry was on her back. Russ went for her fly. The waist of her jeans cut into her belly. He moved away a little, kneeling over her. “Take them off, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Cherry said, lying back and sucking in her gut to unbutton her jeans. She hated this next part, but there was no avoiding it.Thiswas the big reveal. She couldn’t have sex with Russ without showing him exactly how fat she was. (Well, maybe she could—on a dark night with no moon. Or in some sort of glory hole situation.) Her vagina was very inconveniently located for subterfuge.
Cherry pushed her jeans down and decided to grab her panties, too. Russ helped, pulling everything down her legs, pushing it off the bed. Then he looked up at her. Cherry was sitting up a little. Creasing at the waist.
She stillhada waist. Her sisters all lost theirs after their pregnancies, but Cherry was a blown-out hourglass. Wide hips. Heavy thighs. A belly that hung a little.
“I don’t want to hear you complain,”her sister Joy would say.“You’re built like a Lane Bryant lingerie model.”
“Wait till she has kids,”Honny would say.
And Cherry would think,That’ll be a long wait.
“Cherry,” Russ said, moving toward her. His eyes were big. His glasses were smudged. “You’re so...” He touched her hip. “Okay,” he said, “we’ll just, um...” He started kissing her, stupidly, his mouth loose and open. “Jesus, okay.”
Cherry swallowed. Still nervous. Kissing him back. “Okay.”
“You don’t know,” he said.
His chest was against hers. She reached up to his face, cradling it. “What don’t I know?”
“How bad I wanted this,” Russ said in a husky voice. “How much I... You’re so...”
He moved away and got rid of his pants. Got back to kissing her. They were both naked now. Their legs and arms were tangling. He lifted his head up to take off his glasses. Cherry took them from him and reached over to set them on her nightstand. He kissed her ribs as she stretched. He looked younger without his glasses. Open. She laughed.
“What?”
“I’ve never seen you without your glasses,” she whispered.
