Shiloh’s mouth opened.
This was all news to her. Shocking news. She didn’t remember that weekend perfectly, but she would have remembered... “You didn’tsayany of that.”
“I would have had to interrupt you telling me it was nothing.” Cary was cold. “I’m pretty sure you told me that sex was a construct.”
“I know that I said—well, I don’t think I said sex was a construct—but I know I said a lot of complete bullshit that weekend. I was justscared,Cary. I didn’t want you to reject me.”
“In what way was I rejecting you?”
“You’d never shown any interest in me before!”
He scoffed. “Shiloh, the whole world thought we were dating.”
“Well,Iknew that weweren’t. You never made a move toward me in high school.”
“How could I have gotten any closer to you than I already was?”
“Cary,” she said, like he wasn’t being fair.
He was upset. “You didn’twantme to make a move, did you? I don’t remember you ever giving me a hint or an opening.”
“You had a girlfriend.”
“I had a girlfriend for three months.”
“Well, it wasn’t me. It was never me.”
Cary sat back. Forcefully. A needlepoint throw pillow fell off thecouch. “I didn’t want us to date in high school! I liked what we had, and I didn’t want to ruin it.”
“Okay,” Shiloh said, relenting.
His legs and arms were tense, like his whole body was frustrated. “I thought we werebeyonddating,” he said. “That we would justbetogether someday, when we were ready.”
Shiloh’s mouth hung open. She felt like there’d been a hook in her throat, and Cary had just ripped it out.
He ran his hands through his hair.
Shiloh waited to find words, but all she could do was repeat herself: “You never told me that you felt that way.”
Cary’s shoulders sagged. “I thought you felt it, too. I hoped you did. And then... when I came to see you, you told me what you actually wanted.”
“No,” Shiloh said.
“No?”
“I was giving you anout,” she said. “I didn’t want to spoil your plans. You had planned thiswhole lifewithout me.”
That made Cary stick his tongue in his cheek. “People in the Navy are allowed to fall in love,” he said. “I wasn’t going toprison. You’re the one who wanted something different. You made your feelings really clear.”
“And youdidn’t!” Shiloh was furious now and unable to contain it. “Not once! I know I said a lot of garbage, Cary, but I also know that I opened my heart to you. Iremember. Was I supposed to read your mind?”
“You were supposed to read my actions!”
“Okay, well—you left.”
“My actions before that.”
“Oh my god...” Shiloh brought both feet up onto the chair and hid her face in her hands. She was too upset to talk.
