“Do you know I’ve never seen the ocean?”
Cary looked up, stricken. “What? Why not?”
She laughed. “Um, because Nebraska is the most landlocked state in the union? Has yourmomseen the ocean?”
He was still stricken. “My mom won’t drive west of Seventy-Second Street—how have youneverseen the ocean?”
Shiloh was embarrassed. “It just hasn’t happened, I guess. I only get invited to conferences in Chicago and Orlando and Indianapolis.”
“Orlando is close to the ocean.”
“Yeah, I was gonna go...” She shrugged with her fork. “I was tired.”
Cary was frowning at Shiloh. She could tell he wanted to fix this for her, but he really couldn’t.
“I’ll take the kids someday,” she said. “Junie says she wants to see the whole world. But not Australia. And not space.”
“Why not Australia?”
“Snakes. Spiders.”
“Yeah,” he said, “okay, legit.”
“Haveyoubeen to Australia?”
He nodded. “It reminded me of California.”
“You’ll have to tell her that you survived.” Shiloh smiled at him. She had the urge to kick him. “You’ve been to Tokyo, you’ve been to Australia—have you been to Europe?”
“I have. That’s one thing the Navy is good at. You get around.” He picked up the mug she’d set out for him. It was a souvenir from Pioneer Village in Minden, Nebraska. Ryan had also let Shiloh take all of her tchotchkes and random old junk. His new apartment looked like one of the artier Ikea showrooms. Junie said it was“so clean”and“so nice”—“like someone on TV lives there.”
Shiloh would rathernotlive in an Ikea showroom. She liked old things and bright colors. She liked having too many throw pillows and too many coffee mugs. She liked rugs. And macramé wall hangings. She liked everything to be a little too much.
She thought of Cary’s mom’s house... with its boxes and bags of detritus. Shiloh should have picked up more before he came over. He was probably desperate for a clean surface.
“What doyoudo?” Cary asked.
“I...” Shiloh blew out her cheeks. “I told you already, right? I’m an administrator. I hire teachers, I work on educational programming, sometimes I teach first graders how to do improv...”
Cary smiled. “How’d you get that job?”
“Would you believe it’s the only place I’ve ever worked?”
He looked like hedidn’tquite believe it. “Really?”
“Yeah, I got hired there out of college as an actor-slash-teacher. It was seasonal at first, then full-time. And nowwww”—she drew out theW—“here I am.”
“And you like it?”
“I don’t know,” Shiloh deflected. “I’m lucky to have a full-time theater job, especially in Omaha, Nebraska. I have health insurance. And I get to wear jeans to work.” She looked down, scrunching up her face and shaking her head.
“What’s wrong?” Cary asked.
“It’s justembarrassing. I kind of hate to tell you all this. I’d rather you remember me the way I was when we were young.”
“Manic and relentless?”
Shiloh kicked him in the ankle. She wasn’t wearing shoes. “Shiny and full of potential!”
