“Right.”
“I don’t even know when I’ll see you again. Doyouknow when I’ll see you again?”
He shook his head. “No.”
“Will it be months? Or years?”
“It will be months,” he said. “Or years.”
“I can’t ask you...” she said.
Yes, she could.
She threw up her hands. “What is this anyway?” She motioned between them, panicky. “This?”
“I don’t know, Shiloh. I didn’t plan it.”
Cary hadn’texactlyplanned it...
He’d known that he needed to see her. He’d thought he might tell her, if the moment was right, what her letters had meant to him. Whatshemeant to him.
Shiloh looked like she was winding up at one end and coming undone at the other. She was biting her lip. “This doesn’t have to be... Cary, maybe this isn’t... You’ve gotta...” She mimed a plane lifting up with one hand. “Phew.Take off. You’re just taking off. You don’t even know where you’ll be. But I’ll behere,right? So... it doesn’t have to be...”
“Okay,” he said, wanting this to stop. “Yeah. I’m sorry.”
“No! Don’t be sorry. I’m not sorry. I’m just... trying to be realistic, I guess. Am I being realistic?”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “This is probably not the time for us... to...”
Shiloh nodded hard. “Right.”
“Do you want me to leave?”
She grabbed his arm. “No.”
Cary huffed out a helpless breath. “Well—what do you want, Shiloh?”
Her face fell. It killed him. That was all it took to kill him.
“I wantyou, Cary. I guess I just want to be here with you. Anyway.”
He nodded.
“Do you want that?” she asked.
“Yeah.” His voice was gruff.
Shiloh moved her hand down to his. She squeezed it. This was the first time they’d held hands. Maybe ever.
They sat there for a while. Cary didn’t know what was supposed to happen now.
He felt like he’d gotten the tiniest peek into the world he wanted. Like a door had swung open and then immediately closed.
But somehow he was still with Shiloh, still connected to her.
When she looked up at him, he could see she’d been crying.
He didn’t think twice—he kissed her.
