“Weak,” she countered.
“Shiloh, I don’t think you realize how much time we spend together now—”
“We’re stocking up,” she said, “to get through winter.”
“—and how different it’s going to be.”
“It’s a proverbial winter, Cary.”
“Shiloh...” Cary said softly. Like he felt sorry for her. It was intolerable. She reached out and yanked on his collar—his head wobbled.
“Do youwantto drift apart?” she demanded.
“No.”
“Then don’t. Be a man.”
“Aman?”
“Like, not a monkey,” she said. “Use your man parts—your thumbs, and the region of your brain that processes written language. Make your owndecisions,Cary. This isAmerica.”
Cary was laughing at her, with her. Softly. (She had him where she liked him.)
Shiloh moved her hand up and tugged on his hair. She pushed her fingers into the roots, trying to break up the gel.
“Ouch,” he said, ducking his head away from her.
“Don’t be done with me,” she pleaded, poking his shoulder.
“I never said I was done with you. I was just trying to ground the conversation in facts.”
“More like opinions,” she said. “Assumptions.” Shiloh made a fist in his sleeve. She chewed on her lip for a second. “Don’t be done with me,”she said. Too intensely.“Don’t say goodbye.”
“Allright.” Cary was trying to twist his arm free. “Don’t rip my tux.”
“I’m not going to rip it.”
“You marked up my jeans with permanent marker.”
Shilohhaddone that, she couldn’t argue, but she wanted to argue anyway. She wanted to break something. She hung on to his sleeve.
“You don’t have good boundaries,” Cary said, like it was an observation.
Shiloh had nothingbutboundaries with other people. She wanted to die when they bumped into her. She could hardly even hug her mom. “Cary,” she hissed.
“What,Shiloh?”
She pulled on his sleeve. His shoulders swayed. Shiloh wanted to seteverythingon fire. She wanted to remember him. Every little bit of him. She wanted to remember him even as she washerewith him. To fix him into a single point. Past, present and future.
“I can do whatever I want,” she said. “Don’t tell me I can’t.”
“I’m not.”
“I want to stay like this. With you. No matter what.”
Cary’s eyes widened. He seemed a little frustrated. “Yeah,” he sighed. “Okay.”
“Do you believe me?”
