Cary was still smiling, listening.
Shiloh bit down on her lips for a second. She hummed. “I’m worried that you think I’m still the way I was in high school.” She shook her head a few times. “I used to be socertain,about everything. I felt like I could sort the whole world into good and bad, right and wrong. Now I’m...” She pulled his hand closer to her. “I’m never sure aboutanything. Everything is complicated. Everyone is flawed. Most things are a compromise.”
She squeezed his hand. “Do youwantme to be more vehement about things? Did you love that about me?”
“I loveyou,” he said.
Was that the second time he’d said it, or the third? She shook her head again.
“Shiloh, I love you.”
She looked into his eyes until she couldn’t, then she looked down at her plate.
Cary stroked her hand with his thumb. “I’d be concerned if none of your opinions had changed since high school. And I’m relieved to hear that you don’t hate the veryideaof the Navy—”
“What I hate is the idea of being a Navy wife!” Shiloh blurted out. She let go of his hand to wave her own hand around. “I’ve been on the Internet, and there are blogs and support groups. It’s a whole vibe, Cary, and I don’t think I can do it!”
He laughed out loud. “You don’t have to join a group.”
“These women...” She covered her face with one hand. “They’re very pretty and very devoted. They say things like ‘my sailor.’ They make T-shirts.”
“Shiloh, you don’t have to do any of that. Those are just... the same people who would blog and make T-shirts no matter where they were in life.”
“You don’t know. You’re not on the blogs.”
“I’ve met plenty of Navy wives and husbands. You don’t have to do anything special.”
Shiloh sighed.
He took her hand again. “Have you been googling your concerns?”
“I’ve done some googling over the last six months,” she said, a little defensive. “The Navy wives have a lot to say about care packages.”
Cary tugged on her arm. “Let’s talk about this,” he said, suddenly urgent. He lowered his eyebrows. “Brass tacks. Are you ready for that?”
Shiloh groaned. “I don’t know... it’s a lot to take in.”
“I know, but—”
“I know, I know.” She pulled her hand away. “You’ve got fifteen days to fix your whole life.” Shiloh started eating again. Very purposefully.“Talk to me, Cary. What’s your plan? I love a marriage proposal that starts out ‘I can’t give you the life you deserve’—so let’s hear your pitch.”
Cary took a bite, too. “Okay,” he said, chewing for a few seconds. “I’ve been in the Navy for fifteen years. I can retire at twenty.”
“Like, actually retire?”
“Yes.”
“At thirty-eight?”
“Thirty-nine,” he said, “but yeah.”
“But they won’t let you out before then?”
“They will, but I get military benefits at twenty years of service. That’s almost half my salary, plus healthcare. Even if I get another job.”
“Holy shit—that seems smart, Cary. You should definitely do that.”
“But it means I go where the Navy sends me for the next five years.”
