Instead she drew you a picture.
I’m also sending you photos of Mikey and Otis. We brought Mike and Janine dinner, and my kids ogled the baby. Now Gus keeps telling me that he’s NOT a baby, and I think I might have an opportunity to pushthis potty-training concept all the way home. Pray to your gods for me. Drop something into the sea for Neptune.
You never told me what you guys were watching, and I refuse to google it.
***
The watch is sort of a shift. It’s how we organize ourselves and our time. But it does involve a lot of actual watching and monitoring—of the ocean and the ship.
My job is to supervise and oversee the larger choreography of the ship, to make sure all the different jobs are getting done.
You don’t have to bake for me, but I’m grateful. I wish I had something I could send you.
I’ll put Junie’s drawing on my desk next to my Mother Duck photo.
***
Does your mom write to you, Cary?
***
No, but I can call her sometimes from the satellite phone. It’s better now than it was when I enlisted—no e-mail back then and no cell phones, and my mom was never good at writing letters.
Shiloh—today while I was waiting for a meeting to end, I was thinking that you always wait for me to ask how you’re doing before you tell me.
You can just tell me. I want you to just tell me.
I can’t see your face to know when you’re feeling down or bothered.
Just assume I want to know.
***
You sure do a lot of thinking.
***
Comes with the job.
** *
Hey, Cary, you should assume I want to know how you’re doing and what you’re feeling, whether or not I ask.
It’s hard to ask you about your feelings, for some reason. You have an intimidating face, even when I can’t see it.
Fifty-One
before
Shiloh’s mom had made chicken and rice soup, and Shiloh had been eating it for three days. There was just enough for one more bowl tonight, if she added water to what was left.
There was a knock at the door while Shiloh was heating it up.
She wasn’t supposed to answer the door while she was alone in the house—which was always. The only people who came to the door were Jehovah’s Witnesses and people selling scam magazine subscriptions and the guy from the natural gas company who checked the meter.
Shiloh peeked out the living room window.
It was Cary.
