They ended up on the front porch, on the old wooden swing.
“This is really lovely,” James said. He was looking out over the wheat fields and unconsciously rocking the swing with one foot on the floor.
Anna crisscrossed her legs. “Thanks.”
A fat orange cat ambled up the front walk. Anna held out a hand, snapping and clicking her tongue. “Here, Peaches.”
The cat came to her, jumping up into her lap. Anna laughed, petting him.
“Even your cat has a name,” James said.
“Well …” she said. “Sort of.” She was blushing. “I mean—I named him.”
“Can youdothat?”
Anna glanced up at him. “Who’s going to stop me? I’m sure she’ll rename Peaches if she ever uses us. But she mightnotuse us. She might make Peaches a dog in the end. He may as well have a name while he’s here, right?”
James was watching Anna, smiling just with his eyes and one side of his mouth. “Yeah.”
“You can pet him if you want.”
James reached out and scratched Peaches between the ears.
“That is your first cat petting,” Anna said.
“No,” he said. “I’ve petted plenty of cats.”
“In your backstory,” Anna said. “But not here. It’s different—can’t you feel it?”
He kept scratching. Peaches closed his eyes, purring. “No,” James said. “I don’t think that I can.”
“You will,” she said, “if you try. If you have enough experiences here. You’ll feel the difference.”
“I feel like I’m beingpulled,” James said. He seemed agitated. He stopped touching Peaches and looked out over the fields. “Do you feel it, too? It’s like I’m meant to get into my book. Like I can’t be delayed.”
“I’m not delaying you.” Anna tried not to sound defensive. “I’m not atrap.”
“No.” James looked back at her. “I didn’t think you were. But do you feel it?”
“Yeah,” she said. “Everyone feels it. But you can’t really act on it. All you can do is wait. You’re here until she needs you.”
“But why would she make me and then leave me here? Why would she leaveyouhere, with all of this? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Well, she can’t use all of us,” Anna said. She tried to be practical. “Some of us are just extra.”
“And you’re at peace with that? You’re not frustrated?”
“I was frustrated for awhile… I used to get up every morning and get ready. But … I couldn’t sustain that, you know?”
“How do you feel now?”
“I feel …” Anna sighed. She looked down at Peaches. She never really talked about this. Who would she tell? Her parents? Her best friend? That seemed unkind. They were only sketches compared to her. They might never get filled in.
Anna almost never met someone like James. Someone with clearly drawn outsides and clearly drawn insides. Someone with carefully developed emotional maturity. James didn’t even realize how special he was. How lucky he was. He wouldn’t be here long—she was surprised he’d lingered at all.
“I feel forgotten,” Anna said. “Mostly. Like … I must have been fascinating once. For her to build all this for me.” She looked around the yard. “I must have had promise. But then she just … set me aside. It’s a bit like knowing someone has fallen out of love with you.”
James listened. Even after she’d stopped talking.
