“What have you told me?” He curls his lip. “What have you actually ever told me, Snow?”
“That this isn’t working! I’m not a magician!”
“And I told you, I don’t care!”
“Well, I do—I care! Do you think I like being a charity case?”
Baz is rolling his eyes. “No one treats you like a charity case.”
“I can’t even leave the house without your help. Without Penny’s.”
“We don’tmindhelping!”
I throw my hands up. “You’re not listening—you never listen!”
“Ialwayslisten!” He jabs a finger at me. “Younever talk!”
“I’m talking now, all right? I’mtellingyou. I’m done with magic! I’m done with mages! I can’t—You’re both—I can’tlivewith you!”
“We don’t have to live together, Simon. Wedon’tlive together.”
“I can’t evenbewith you! I hate it.”
“You hatebeingwith me?”
“Yes, all right?” I’m screaming. “Are you happy? I hate being with you! I hate your fucking wand! I hate how easy it all is for you! I hatelookingat you!”
“You hate looking at me.”
God, yes, I do. I do. I hate the sight of him.
All I see is what I’ve lost—who I was. His match. Someone who might someday deserve him.
My hands are in my hair, pulling. I’m shaking my head. “What are we evendoing,Baz? Where did you think this was allgoing?”
He steps back. “I thought . . .”
BAZ
I thought I was being patient.
I thought he was getting better.
I thought we were in love . . .
. . . though he’s never said so.
“I like you,”he said once.“I like this.”But that was before. When he still had magic.
And then he told me I was all he had left to lose. I thought that meant that he wouldn’t let me go. But maybe Snow was trying to tell me his plans:You’re all I have left to lose, and eventually I will.
I take another step away from him. I’d been reaching for him. His broad shoulders, his freckled chest. It isn’t fair of him to say these things with his heart so naked. It makes them seem true.
I thought we had the sort of love that you can’t set down or walk away from. An undying fire. The love you hear about in the old stories.
No one told Simon Snow the old stories.
(Fuck, he’s already saved the princess and walked away from her. Maybe I’m one more unwanted prize.)
