My father never acknowledges that I’m a vampire—besides my flammability—and I know he’ll never send me away because of it.
But my mother?
She would have killed me.
She would have faced me, what I am, and done what was right.
My mother never would have let a vampire into Watford. Shedidn’t.
I end my walk at the door to her tomb. At the stone in the wall that marks it.
She was the youngest person ever to lead Watford—and one of three headmasters in history to die defending it. She’s kept here, in a place of honour, part of the school’s foundation.
My mother came back.
She came backfor me.
What does it mean that she couldn’t find me?
Maybe ghosts can’t see through coffins.
Maybe she couldn’t see me because I’m not fully alive. Will I get to seeherwhen Simon finally finishes me?
He will… Finish me.
Snow will do the right thing.
***
I stay in the Catacombs until I’m done feeding. Until I’m done raging. Until I can’t stand staring at that photograph of myself anymore. (Chubby, lucky bag of blood.)
Until I’m done crying.
You’d think that’s something you’d lose in the change—tears. But I still piss, and I still cry. I still lose water.
(I don’t really know how it all works, being a vampire; my family won’t let me near a magickal doctor—and it’s not like I get colds or need vaccinations.)
The flowers I’ve laid outside my mother’s tomb have wilted. I cast“April showers!”and they bloom again. It takes more magic than I can afford right now—flowers and food take life—and I slump forward against the wall.
When I’m tired lately, I can’t keep my head up. And my left leg isn’t quite right since the numpties; it goes numb. I stomp it into the stone floor, and some feeling shoots up my heel.
If my mother came back through the Veil, that means she hasn’t completely moved on. She isn’t here—she can’t see me—but she isn’t in the next place. Her soul is stuck in the in-between.
How am I supposed to help?
Find this Nicodemus? Is he the one who sent the vampires?
I’ve always been told that the Humdrum sent the vampires. Even Fiona thinks the Humdrum sent the vampires. The Humdrum sends everything else to Watford…
My leg’s so numb when I get to our tower, I have to lead with my right and drag my left behind me, all the way up the stairs.
Bunce is gone from our room. Snow’s in bed, and the windows are open. He’s showered. Snow uses the soap the school provides—he smells like a hospital when he’s clean.
I don’t bother rinsing my face or changing. Just strip to my undershirt and pants, and climb in my bed. I feel like death. Death not even warmed over.
As soon as I’m settled—eyes closed, willing myself not to cry again—Snow clears his throat. Awake, then. I won’t cry.
“I’ll help you,” he says—so softly, only a vampire could hear him.
