“No!” she shouted at him. “I’m not allowing myself to fall into your arms knowing that there will come a moment when we part ways and fight each other. I’m not going to allow you to break my heart twice. We are allies in this escape. Allies in stopping Alexandra and Katarina. But that is where it ends. Do you understand?”
He desperately wanted to argue. To offer a path forward other than the conflict she foresaw, but it would only be spinning lies to satisfy his own desperate desire to have her back. She was right not to invite hurt upon herself, but watching her wipe at her eyes from across the boat, it felt like the sword had sunk deep into his heart. “I understand.”
Picking up the oars, he started rowing. “We need to find a place with cover deep enough to hide us. Carlo will have made it to the village.”
“Agreed.”
They sped onward in silence down the river, Ahnna hunting for likely hiding places while James searched for signs of pursuit.
“Up ahead,” she finally said, and James looked over his shoulder at the copse of trees that had replaced the fields to either side. More than a copse, for the trees stretched on for as far as his eyes could see.
Ahnna stood up. “I think it will do, especially with the sun about to set. It will be fully dark by the time they get this far on horseback.”
He rowed to the bank and Ahnna jumped out, wading through hip-deep water with the mooring rope in her hand. She tied it off and then disappeared into the shadows while he stowed the oars and climbed out.
“There are lots of good spots to hide.” Ahnna reappeared and came down the bank, splashing softly to the boat. Before he could pick up the basket of supplies, she snatched them and carried them up the bank. Returning, she said, “Let’s get the boat hidden.”
“I’ll do it,” he said. “You take the oars.”
“You’ll need my help. If we leave drag marks on the banks, we might as well light a signal fire for Carlo. Same with damaging the branches. I suspect I’ve had a great deal more experience hiding boats than you have.”
He didn’t doubt that. “I don’t need to drag it. I can lift it on my own. You can guide me.”
“Are you trying to change my mind with manly acts?”
He could tell she was trying to break the tension with levity, but he’d heard the strain in her voice. Still, he kept up his end and said, “Are you trying to prove a point by rebreaking your arm?”
She huffed out a breath. “I suppose that’s valid.”
James moved the oars into the trees while Ahnna sat on a rock. She watched him in silence, yet the ease with which she’d conceded caused James to suspect this might not go as well as he liked.
Icy water filled his boots as he went to the back of the rowboat and struggled to overturn it. The old wood was waterlogged, the cursed thing heavier than he’d anticipated. The current caught the edge and James abruptly found himself sitting on his ass in the freezing river.
“I’d clap but my arm is broken,” Ahnna said. “So you’ll just have to imagine the sound of me celebrating this display.”
“Noted.” Standing, James heaved the back of the boat up, but the front dipped beneath the water and the current shoved him back. Cursing silently so as not to give her the satisfaction of commenting on his profanity, James shuffled beneath the boat. Every muscle in hisbody groaned under the weight of the waterlogged wood as he tried and failed to get the piece of shit up and out of the water.
And then the fore of the boat was lifting.
He raised his head to find Ahnna heaving it up with her good arm, and then resting it on her shoulder. “Chivalry and efficiency rarely walk hand in hand, James. Carlo isn’t far behind us. Let’s go.”
They climbed the bank together and eased carefully through the dense trees until Ahnna found a thicket that satisfied her. While he went back to retrieve the oars, she set to hiding the boat with dirt, branches, and debris with shocking efficiency. The oars joined it, and even in broad daylight, James suspected no one would see the old rowboat unless they tripped over it.
As the darkness of night fell, Ahnna set to curling up in a pile of leaves. Once she was settled, she muttered, “You take the first watch.”
James sighed and settled his back against a tree, trying not to think about what had happened on the boat. Trying to forget the taste of her skin and the feel of her tongue against his, but despite his heart feeling cut through, his desire surged at the memory.
Quit thinking about Ahnna’s legs and focus on the fact you’re being hunted by a bad man,he silently chastised himself, and the thought of Carlo did well to drag him from lust to misery. Though the weather was infinitely milder here than in the mountains, he was soaked and freezing, which contributed to his sourness. Hooking a foot around the food basket, he drew it closer and investigated the contents, eating a bit of the bread and cheese. Wind rustled the branches above him, the river gurgled, and all the small animals of the night called out to one another, which meant it was impossible to hear the cadence of Ahnna’s breathing.
Yet he knew she was still awake. Could feel the tension seething from her beneath the branches and leaves, so he said, “When I’m back in Harendell, I’ll make Taryn’s freedom my priority. Her imprisonment is my fault, but I know you feel partially to blame.”
Ahnna was silent for so long that James half wondered if he’d beenmistaken in thinking she was still awake, but then she said, “Why do you say that?”
James opened the bottle of spirits that the old woman had included in the basket and took a large mouthful of something that burned all the way down. “Because you blame yourself for everything. You can’t help but think if you’d done something different, Taryn would be free.” He took another mouthful. “But the fact of the matter is that if you’d gone to them, I’d have caught you and Taryn as well. If I’d caught you then, you’d have already been tried and executed, and Alexandra still would have found ways to blame Ithicana in order to gain support for this war.” Another sip. “Sometimes you need to accept that your enemy bested you in a battle, because dwelling on the heartbreak of loss when there are more battles to come only ensures you’ll lose the war.”
“I know who the enemy is,” she muttered. “You were the one who struggled to grasp the truth.” Then she made a noise of exasperation. “I’m sorry. It feels as though the truth is this ever-changing beast, and the moment I think I understand who is behind each scheme, each lie, each strike against those I love, the facts change. It’s easier to be angry at everything and everyone, myself included.”
God help him, but James understood that. Yet he also had seen what succumbing to rage turned him into, and how those who did not deserve his anger fell victim to it anyway. “Get some rest, Ahnna. This might be the last chance.”
