“I didn’t know how to tell you. To be honest, I felt paralyzed with fear.”
“Simon, come on! You must have known we wouldn’t care, right? We don’t care if you date boys or girls as long as you’re happy. But I must admit, it is a bit of a shock. We didn’t know. How crazy is that? Two old lesbians can’t even tell if their own son is gay. Wait, you are gay, right? I mean, maybe you’re bi? Or…I don’t know, it’s so different for kids these days. Sexuality is much more fluid than it was in my day.”
“Yes, Carole, I am gay. But I have only said it out loud very recently, and I’ve only told a few friends. I couldn’t find the nerve to tell you and Mom until tonight. Dad doesn’t know, and I don’t know if I want him to know. But meeting PJ has turned my whole world around. I really like him, Carole.”
“That’s so great! He seems like a very nice young man. He is super cute too, like one of The Beach Boys from back in the day. You know, a sunny California boy. Have you had your first kiss yet?”
“Carole! I don’t know if I want to be talking about these things with you, or even worse, Mom! But since Mom is in the other room talking with PJ and you asked… No, not yet. We hold hands a lot, though.”
Carole can barely contain her excitement over the cuteness of it all, as she calls it, and I’m now beet red as I head back to the living room with a bucket of popcorn in hand. PJ is playing the laser light game with Sammy. Carole brings the sodas on a tray and her favorite movie snack, frozen grapes. She puts the Sprites in front of us as I move closer to PJ on the loveseat. Carole beams at us, but something is still not right with Mom. She doesn’t look happy. She’s smiling, but something is wrong behind her façade. I’m afraid she either doesn’t like PJ, or she is unhappy I turned out to be gay too. I quickly push the thought out of my head and announce tonight’s movie selection.
“So, I have an unusual idea for tonight’s movie. It’s called Hedwig and The Angry Inch, and it’s supposed to be a cult classic.”
“Angry inch? I don’t know about this, Simon,” Mom says.
But PJ pipes up, “I promise you will love it! A kid at our school was quoting from the movie the other day, and Simon asked me if I knew what he was talking about during one of our long, late-night phone conversations.”
“I see, late-night phone calls. How have I not been aware of these?” Mom chastises.
Carole looks at Mom sideways, clearly as confused as I am by her change in behavior. But PJ continues, seemingly unaware of the shift in mood.
“The quote was ‘try and tear me down’ and it resonated with Simon. I was shocked he hadn’t even heard about this classic, so I suggested it for movie night tonight. I think it came out around 2001, but I’m not sure. It’s from before I was born.”
“Well, okay then, I’m willing to give it a try since you guarantee it,” Mom says as she gives PJ a wink.
Carole and I both sit back in relief. I pull up our streaming service and locate the movie on HBO. PJ reaches over for my hand as the opening credits roll. Everything, at least for now, seems right in the world.
Carole, PJ, and I are dancing around the apartment singing songs from the movie. Carole uses her empty wineglass as a microphone and pretends to be Hedwig with PJ and me as her backup band. Mom is in stitches on the couch, clapping her hands. I’m flying high—nothing is going to tear me down!
“I don’t know what’s better, the movie or this reenactment,” Mom says. “But as much as I would like this stage show to go on all night, I do have to go into work tomorrow, and I should head off to bed.”
Carole places her glass on the coffee table with a sharp clink.
“Lindsey, you’re not going in again on a Saturday. No, no! Look at you; you’re exhausted. I insist you stay home. You need rest. Your migraines will not subside until you start taking care of yourself. This job is taking too much of a toll on you. Please, I beg you, stay home and rest tomorrow.”
Mom and Carole have a silent stare down while PJ and I plop down on the loveseat. Eventually, Mom concedes with a small smile to Carole and walks over to her. She touches her head to Carole’s.
“Okay, my sweet, you win. How about a compromise? I will go in for a half day only. I’ll leave around noon so we can have lunch together. How does that sound?”
Carole puts her arms up in defeat and disappears into the kitchen. Mom walks over to PJ and gives him her hand.
“It was a pleasure to meet you, PJ. I look forward to getting to know you better. I can tell Simon is quite enamored with you, and he is a very good judge of character. So, if you will excuse me, I’m going to head off to bed now. I can’t keep my eyes open.”
She turns, and I notice a slight wobble to her walk. Her full wineglass is untouched, and there are none of the usual peanut chew wrappers on the coffee table. It appears she didn’t drink or eat anything.
“Well, I suppose I should head home,” PJ says. “But I will see you again tomorrow.”
Carole peeks out of the kitchen to say goodbye to PJ and ask what our plans are.
“Tomorrow is the day that PJ meets Mags and Neel,” I reply.
“Wow, this is a big weekend for you, PJ. Between meeting Lindsey and me tonight and Simon’s best friends tomorrow, he must think very highly of you.”
Carole gives PJ another small hug and tells him he is welcome anytime.
“Simon, why don’t you walk PJ to his car, and I’ll clean up here,” Carole says with a wink.
As we walk outside, I apologize to PJ for the family-drama, but he brushes it off.
