PJ is picking me up at 6:00 p.m. and we are going to his favorite restaurant for dinner. I have no idea what it is, but I can’t wait. Will PJ and I have our first kiss tonight? I want it to happen, but I’m conflicted. Sometimes, the thought of kissing PJ gets me warm all over and aroused. Very aroused. Other times, the alien gets restless and tries to claw its way out of my stomach. It’s uncomfortable, and it makes me want to run away. I prefer the arousal, obviously, but I have no control over which feelings surface.
I arrive home and no one’s there, so I jump in my shower and make the water extra hot. Having my own bathroom is a perk of our new apartment. I use my favorite soap that I save for special occasions. It’s from last summer’s Renaissance Festival, and it smells like smoke and sandalwood. I want to smell good for PJ. I want to smell…manly. I picture kissing PJ as he tells me he likes how I smell. A tingling sensation takes over me, not the alien, so I take advantage of the alone time in the hot, steamy shower and slide the soap lower, between my legs.
I don’t know how long I was in the shower, but by the time I emerge the entire bathroom and bedroom are as steamy as a locker room. PJ never told me if we are going to a casual place for dinner or somewhere fancier. Should I dress nicer than my usual shorts and T-shirt? I err on the side of caution and choose khaki pants paired with a midnight-blue button-down, both clean. I’m satisfied with my clothing choices and the way my hair looks (PJ likes my curls), but it’s later than I thought. I run out of my bedroom and bump straight into Carole who is standing in the hallway holding a Chinese takeout menu.
“Well, that was a long shower. What were you doing in there? On second thought, don’t answer that. There are some things moms don’t need to know! Your mom promises to be home for dinner and the movie tonight. Do you want your usual? Hot and sour soup with a double order of egg rolls. Or is this the night you break tradition?”
“Um, yeah, I’m breaking tradition tonight.”
“Whoa, stop the presses,” Carole says. “I can’t believe it! I bet your new choice will include cashew nuts. Am I right? I bet I’m right.”
“No, Carole, I’m going out to dinner with a friend. Is that okay? I’ll be back in time for the movie, I promise.”
“Oh, okay. Your mom might be disappointed, but it’s fine with me. Hmm, I guess this explains why you’re dressed so nicely. Who is this friend? And what is that smell? Are you wearing cologne? No! Shut the front door! You’ve got a date. Oh my God, I have to call Lindsey and tell her. She is going to freak out. She has been looking forward to this day forever.”
I put my finger up to my lips and make a sh sound. Carole jumps up and down silently and puts her hand over her mouth.
“Calm down,” I say. “Don’t get too excited, it’s just dinner.”
Unable to contain her excitement, she fans herself with the takeout menu. “Will this friend be joining us for movie night by any chance?”
“Maybe,” I say. “If you and Mom promise not to freak out and make a big deal about it.”
Carole pulls me into a big bear hug and doesn’t let go. “You smell very nice,” she whispers in my ear. “Where has the time gone? You’re growing up so fast.”
She pulls away and wipes a tear from her cheek. She disappears into her bedroom and comes back with cash in her hand.
“Hold out your hand,” she says. She counts three crisp twenty-dollar bills into my palm. “Just in case you need it.”
She walks me to the front door, gives me another hug, and looks me in the eye.
“Be polite, be respectful. Don’t talk about yourself too much. Listen more than you talk. Ask questions and have a great time. I can’t wait to meet her!”
I’m shell-shocked as she pushes me out the front door.
22
Under the Sea
Istand at the top of the stairs just outside our apartment door. I can’t wait to meet her, Carole said. Should I go back inside and explain that she is a him? No wonder Tillie makes such a big deal about pronouns. I’ll worry about this later—that’s how I roll. I turn and run down the stairs.
It’s 5:59 p.m. and I lean on my car and bite the skin around my nails. I don’t have many nails left to bite, so I make do with the dead cuticle skin and wait for PJ to pick me up. Within a few seconds, a blue Toyota pulls up next to me. I walk around to the passenger door and get in. I put on my seatbelt and turn to look at PJ. He beams at me.
“Wow, you look so handsome,” he says.
I blush as his compliment leaves me floating on air. I find it hard to talk.
“I hope you like Thai food because we are going under the sea,” PJ says in his best Sebastian voice from The Little Mermaid. I am smitten.
“You look handsome too,” I finally get out.
He is wearing a blue button-down shirt like me, but he is still in shorts. His hair is combed a bit differently, and he smells fresh. Maybe he also took a long, hot shower. He holds out his hand and I take it, which I can do so easily now. We don’t say much as we drive to the restaurant, but a few shy smiles back and forth speak volumes. I love watching him drive the car with one hand as his other hand holds mine. I don’t think I have ever felt more content in my life. Am I dreaming?
We arrive at Tara Thai. I’ve noticed it next door to Barnes and Noble, but I haven’t been there yet.
“Oh, I’ve been wanting to come here,” I say. “I’ve spent a lot of time in the bookstore next door.”
“Well, you are in for a treat! It’s my favorite restaurant. I always ask my parents to bring me here. They like the food, but their preference is to get takeout, and I love to eat in the restaurant. You’ll see why.”
