“Wonderful,” Tillie claps. “Okay, how about you, newbies? Please share your delicious selves with us.”
Brazenly, Paul stands up and says, “I see there is some fierce loyalty in this crowd. Well, that’s how I feel about this pale weirdo next to me.”
Paul points at me, and I shrink into my chair.
“Simon is super gay. I mean extra, super gay! And I may be super straight, but we are super friends together. I am Batman to his Robin, and Latica is our Batgirl. And we will defend our friend, Simon, just as Lola will defend Cisco, and goth girl—sorry, I forget your name already—will defend the pajama boy. Right, Latica?”
Latica opens her mouth, but no audible sound comes out.
“Latica is super shy and doesn’t know whether she likes boys or girls or both. Right, Latica?”
Paul takes his seat, and Latica smiles shyly at the floor. Cisco breaks the tension.
“Whoa, super friend, Superman, or whoever you think you are, it’s all good here, honey. Love is love is love. Everyone here supports everyone.”
“Yes, that is true,” Tillie interjects. “Thank you, Cisco. Now, Latica, if you don’t feel comfortable sharing, that’s okay.”
Latica keeps her eyes glued to the floor.
“Simon, that only leaves you. Tell us something amazing about yourself.”
“Hi! I’m super friend Simon,” I say, pumping my fist to the sky in a Superman pose. My attempt at humor falls flat, so I take a deep breath and continue. “Yeah, I’m Simon. My pronouns are he/him. I’m new here. My mom changed jobs, and we moved to Rockville over the summer. You know, it’s kind of weird to change schools for your senior year, make new friends, and things like that. To make it more complicated, I’ve only just come out as gay. I guess I have always known I was gay, but for a variety of reasons that I won’t go into today, I’ve had trouble coming out. What I do want to say is…I’ve met a boy. A very cute boy who gives me butterflies and makes me smile when I think about him. I can’t stop thinking about this boy, and I am developing some very deep feelings for him.”
“Yas, queen, yas!” Cisco stomps their feet and snaps their fingers.
Feeling more confident, I continue. “Meeting this boy helped me fully accept myself. I started coming out to people—friends and strangers alike—and I finally said the words out loud: I’m gay. Meeting him has had a very positive effect on me. But I’m afraid I may have inadvertently hurt this boy. I fucked up. I did something stupid, and I don’t even know why I did it.”
“What happened, Simon?” Frankie asks earnestly.
“Well, what happened was, this boy tried to hold my hand. I freaked out and pulled my hand away, sending the wrong message. I think he felt like I was rejecting his affection. But nothing could be further from the truth. I have replayed this moment over and over again in my head. I wish I hadn’t pulled my hand away. All I’ve done since is dream about not pulling my hand away and holding hands with him at that moment. All I want to do now is hold hands with him. All day. Every. Single. Day.”
I realize I have been saying all this staring at the floor. I look around the circle. Tillie is dabbing her eyes with a tissue. Paul is speechless for the first time since I’ve met him, and Latica’s smile is bigger than ever. Cisco is holding hands with Lola and Frankie, and they look so compassionate. Toni is also smiling, but Suzi, well, Suzi does not look happy. In fact, she looks angry as hell. As for PJ… Wait, PJ is no longer in his seat. He is walking over to me. I can’t believe this. PJ is standing in front of me, not saying a word. Seconds go by like hours as he looks into my eyes.
What is going on? Say something, anything, please! Embarrass me, yell at me, just do something!
The room holds its breath as PJ slowly raises his hand…and holds out his open palm to me.
20
Sincerely, Your Pajamas
“Mags, oh my sweet, sweet, Mags, so much has happened in the last few days. I can’t believe it! It’s so crazy! I can’t wait for you to meet PJ tomorrow. I’m pulling into school now, so I’m gonna go. I don’t need you making me late for school…again.”
“Don’t blame me for being late and skipping school,” Mags yells over the phone.
“Gotta go! See ya tomorrow. Love you,” I holler back.
I turn off the car, grab my backpack, and skip toward the front door of the school. Everything that has transpired since PJ put his hand out to me in front of the entire GSA is a scene straight from a cheesy Hallmark movie. Except in this Hallmark movie, the stars are two gay teens.
PJ and I have been talking on the phone late into the night for the past two days. We decided that our bubble tea outing, even though it ended badly, was still a great first date. Tonight is our second date, and tomorrow he gets to meet Mags and Neel. Unfortunately, PJ and I have different schedules, so we can’t have lunch together, but we meet up between classes for brief moments whenever possible. Sometimes, we even pass notes like grade-school kids with a secret. It’s a bit syrupy, I know, but it’s a budding romance and I’m going with it.
I head to my locker before first period and discover a piece of paper has been pushed through the vent. The note must be from PJ even though he hasn’t left one in my locker before. I tuck the note in my shirt pocket—next to my heart—and wait until second period before excusing myself to the bathroom to open it. My nemesis, the alien, stirs. Scratch, scratch, scratch.
“Come on, come on. Why?” I say out loud. I pace the empty restroom and attempt to beat the alien into submission. When the scratching subsides, and only then, do I head into a stall and open my note.
Dear Simon,
Surprise! I know we have been talking on the phone a lot the past two nights and we have already covered so many different topics getting to know each other. I’ve even enjoyed the notes we’ve passed back and forth. But I wanted to surprise you today with this letter since I’ve learned you’re an old-school kind of guy and what’s more old school than pen and paper? I also wanted to tell you something I was too embarrassed to say on the phone. I think you are cute too! Really, really cute!
