I dump everything out of my backpack onto my bed.
“Damn it, Simon!” I say out loud.
This is a bad idea. Dust balls, hair, and crumbs cover my bedspread. I put the backpack in an old pillowcase and throw it in the washing machine. I choose the gentle cycle and wash it in cold water just like Mags’ mom. I get the handheld vacuum from the closet on the way back to my room. I’m going to need it. I brush the crumbs off my books and stack them neatly. I throw out all the granola and candy bar wrappers that have been accumulating in the bottom of my backpack over the last several weeks. Among the wrappers and empty potato chip bags, I find a twice-folded, torn piece of fluorescent pink paper. What’s this?
I unfold the paper and smooth out the creases. This is what Tillie handed me a couple of weeks ago. I had forgotten all about it. Now, it’s like finding a present during Hanukkah. I anxiously turn it over to read it.
GSA Network
Gay Straight Alliance—United Against Discrimination
LGBTQIA+ students coming together with straight allies
A student-led and student-organized school club that aims to create a safe, welcoming, and accepting school environment for all youth, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity.
When: Wednesdays at 3:00 p.m. directly after school
Where: Drama Classroom 208
What: Social and Activism Club
Contact: Mrs. Davis, Drama teacher, GSA Adviser
Refreshments served
Hmm. I sit on the edge of my bed. I wonder if PJ will be there?
19
The Gay-Straight Alliance
Drama class ends and I head to my car as if I’m going home. I find a packet of peanuts in the glove compartment and alternate between chewing on stale nuts and my fingernails. I wait. Right on cue, the alien in my stomach awakens and tries to escape. Scratch, scratch, scratch. It’s especially manic today. Oh my God, I’m going to throw up. I rock back and forth trying to make it stop. A knock on the window startles me out of my state.
“Are you praying? Fuck! Please tell me you’re not praying. I can’t handle that shit!”
I open the window to a red-faced Paul. I imagine I must look a little green and I stare at him wide-eyed, not knowing what to say.
“Leave him be, Paul. He’s not praying. He’s nervous,” says Latica, appearing from behind Paul. “Simon, do you want us to get in the car with you?”
I nod and Paul climbs in the back, and Latica gets in on the passenger side.
“You know, it’s almost three o’clock. We should head in. I don’t like being late to anything. It shows lack of discipline,” Paul says.
“I know we need to go,” I say. “But give me a minute, okay?”
Latica tentatively pats my shoulder and gives me a tender smile. I thank them for coming, and I truly mean it. I told them about the club at lunchtime on Monday and how I wanted to go. They immediately offered to tag along without me even asking them.
I support the gays, Paul had said. And we should be there for our friend, Simon. Latica had agreed.
We made a plan to meet at my car after school so we could walk into the meeting together. Believe it or not, this was also Paul’s idea. Paul is a unique and complex individual who I am still trying to figure out. Just when I think he is cold and clinical, he surprises me with something sweet and thoughtful that leaves me thinking I don’t know him at all.
I’m much calmer with Paul and Latica at my side as we walk back into the school and head to the drama room. As we approach, I see the door is closed, and the meeting has already started. The first thing I hear as we open the door is Tillie’s Southern drawl saying something about cupcakes. She immediately turns around and flails her arms excitedly.
“My lovelies! Thank you for coming. Welcome to the GSA! We are a small, but mighty group. Come in, have a seat.”
There are only five other students sitting in a circle, but Tillie is in her element holding court. She is still Tillie the drama teacher, but there is also something different about her manner. Maybe something more mothering in nature? But my hopes of seeing PJ here are quickly shattered. There are three kids I don’t recognize, a girl named Toni from biology, and goth-girl Suzi. She shoots me an evil stare as I drag a chair over to the circle.
“Doughnuts and lemonade are in the back,” Tillie trills.
