Connor walked around the table and lifted his long legs easily over the bench seat. Then he lowered himself down, rested both elbows on the table, and clasped his hands beneath his chin. “I’m still the same guy, Livvy.”
He watched her steadily, unblinkingly, and she was hit with a wave of memories. Other occasions when she’d been the focus of that blue gaze: On the boat, when he’d kissed her for the first time. Eating tacos on the beach when he’d shown her his interest in food. And in her.We have one thing in common. We fancy the hell out of each other.Galley Beach, where they’d discussed her aversion to marriage and kids. And his desire for a partner. The taxi ride to the airport when he’d admitted to being halfway in love with her. The airport when he’d given her a bracelet to add some color to her life.
He’d certainly done that.
She swallowed hard. “It’s a shock to see you again, and to see you as a dad. I can’t help feeling let down, hurt, that you didn’t trust me enough to share such an important detail about your life.”
“I told you, that’s not why I kept it from you. Christ, Livvy, Iwantedyou. I knew damn well you were out of my league, but I had that precious couple of weeks where I could maybe, if I was really lucky, persuade you into bed with me. You’d made it very clear that if it happened, it was just a holiday fling. I didn’t see the harm in not mentioning Ellie, as we weren’t planning to see each other again.”
She understood. After all, she’d been the one to lay out the clear parameters. “But then you asked for my number.”
“Of course I did. Because youmeantsomething to me. I wanted to see you again. Wanted to tell you about Ellie, find out if you were interested in going out with me.” His eyes searched hers, clear, vivid. So hard to ignore, to not get lost in. “Are you?”
Okay, so it wasn’t the smoothest declaration, and it was on a bench in a play park, but he didn’t do subtle, never had.
Olivia blinked, then glanced down at her coffee. He knew the answer even before she lifted her eyes to his. “We’ve been through this. I haven’t got time for a relationship, I don’twanta relationship.” She exhaled heavily. “I should be spending today working on my presentation for the media briefing tomorrow. The people who’ll be deciding who gets the promotion will be watching, waiting for me to slip up, because they want a reason not to give me the job; they prefer my rival. But instead, I’m here with Mia, and though I love my niece, a part of me resents the fact I’ll have to work late tonight, which means I’ll be tired tomorrow and not at the top of my game. And I need to be in top form if I’m going to beat Stuart to the promotion.” She let out a humorless laugh. “How can I possibly fit seeing you, seeing anyone, into my life right now?”
“Fine.” He’d expected the rejection. Didn’t mean his gut wasn’t churning with disappointment. “When is the promotion decided? I’ll ask you out again then.”
“Oh my God, Connor.” She shook her head. “The interviews for the promotion aren’t for a few months, but assuming I get the job, I’m going to be busydoingit.”
He’d never had that drive, that desire, at least not when it came to work. “What about fun? You have to leave time for that. Otherwise what’s the point?”
“You don’t get it, do you? I enjoy my work. I get all the pleasure I need when I look back at the successful investment decisionsImade. And the alphamyfund generated.” She saw his bewilderment. “Sorry, I mean the excess return my team and I generated because of something we saw and others didn’t.”
“You’re talking about job satisfaction, Livvy, about rising to a challenge. I’m talking aboutfun. Laughing, relaxing. Turning off your brain and just feeling. Doing things that bring you joy.” He swigged some coffee, took a moment to think. “How did you feel when you went back to work after Nantucket?”
She gave a slight shake of her head. “Okay, I see what you’re doing there, and yes, I did go back full of energy. I accept that now and again, it’s good to have a break.”
“Then let me be your holiday. Your downtime.” He trapped her gaze. “Let me bring you joy.”
She held his eyes for a beat before sighing and turning away. “I don’t know what you’re asking.”
“To see you again, however that will work for you.” Playing it cool had never been possible, not with her.
“I told you, I don’t have time for a relationship.”
“Then use me as a booty call. You told yourself we were just sex. Have just sex with me again.”
Finally her expression relaxed and she started to laugh. “You’re crazy, you know that?” She waved a hand toward his face. “When you get home, take a good look at yourself in the mirror. What you’ll see reflected back is a man who can have sex with anyone he wants to.”
“But not you.”
She paused, took a sip of her coffee. “If I didn’t find you attractive, I wouldn’t have spent my week off with you. I’m hugely bloody flattered, Connor, but you and me picking up again isn’t a good idea.” To his surprise, she reached across the table and squeezed his hand. “You said you were halfway in love with me. If that’s even partly true, I’m going to end up hurting you.”
It didn’t feel like she was protecting him. It felt like she was telling him she wasn’t interested in this version of him, the single dad. “Maybe I think the pain will be worth it.”
Her eyes found his, pretty and unflinchingly direct. “It isn’t only you who might get hurt.” He jolted at her unexpected admission. “What I said in Nantucket is still true,” she continued, oblivious to the dangerous bolt of hope arrowing through him. “You’d end up resenting me, and I couldn’t bear that. Besides, you’re hardly free to drop everything and come to my beck-and-booty call.” Her gaze drifted over to Ellie. “I need to get going.”
She slipped nimbly off the bench and he allowed himself a final longing look at her neat figure, then followed her over to the play area. Before they reached it, he tugged her around to face him. “If this is goodbye, I’m going to want a kiss.”
Her gaze dropped briefly from his eyes to his mouth. “You can’t say that to me. Not here.” She turned toward the playground. “Not in front of Mia and Ellie.”
“They’re not looking at us. And I’m not talking tongues. Just... let me put my arms around you. Let me feel your body settle against mine one last time.”
She hesitated for a beat, presumably while her brain sifted through the pros and cons, but then with a sigh she leaned into him. It was all the encouragement he needed to place a soft kiss on her lips, fold her into an embrace, and hold on tight. “I’d forgotten how good you feel,” he told her hoarsely, an ache forming in his chest.
She burrowed her head into his shoulder. “I don’t think this is helping either of us.”
