She’d never been properly kissed before. It was a sad realization for a woman approaching forty. Especially as she’d nearly missed out on this experience too. When he’d made his intention clear, she’d planned to back away, to tell him no for some very sensible reasons. But then his mouth, with those full, expressive lips, had angled closer, his eyes turning a midnight blue, heavy-lidded with arousal, and suddenly the reasons had seemed so trite, so boring andold. In that moment, she’d wanted to see what it felt like to be kissed by a virile, sexy young man who made her giddy just by standing near her.
Now she knew. And she couldn’tunknowit.
“Are you going to tell us why you look so rattled?” Ashley asked bluntly as they sat on the rocks by the lighthouse.
“And why you looked so red-faced after we’d left you with Connor?” Jessica added slyly.
Olivia placed a hand on her chest, willed the fluttering to settle, her pulse to slow. “Leaving me with him was a childish move,” she retorted. “What are we, eight?”
“Just trying to give things a gentle push,” Jessica argued, smoothing her hands across her baby bump.
“It was more of a shove,” Olivia complained. “If I want to be alone with Connor, I’m quite capable of orchestrating it without your help.”
“Fine, message received.” Ashley smirked. “Now answer the questions.”
She watched a seal as it struggled out of the water and flopped onto the beach. Did she want to talk about this? “He asked me to dinner again. And then, when I said we both knew it wasn’t about dinner but about sex, he... kissed me.” Okay, looked like she did want to talk about it.
When her sisters remained silent, she turned to them. Ashley wore a smug expression while Jessica smiled softly at her. “Did you enjoy it?”
“Yes.” Suddenly the moment felt too big, and she groaned, sinking her head into her hands. “I don’t want this.”
“What don’t you want?” Ashley asked. “To feel excitement, pleasure, joy? Fun, because he sure looks like he could provide a lot of that?”
“I came here for the wedding, Ash, that’s all. Then I was persuaded to stay longer and have a break, which was fine, I probably needed it, but the stakes have been raised. I’ve got a promotion battle in store for me when I get back. I need these two weeks to mentally prepare for it. Not to worry about bumping into some guy we now know works at the flaming hotel so is probably hard to avoid.”
Jessica peered at her. “But why does it worry you, bumping into him?”
“Because the more I see him, the more likely I am to want to sleep with him,” she admitted tetchily. “And sleeping with someone ten years younger than me who has a tattoo of his ex or, hell, maybe even his current partner and who kisses like a man who spends more time rumpling sheets than sleeping in them? In no universe is that a good decision.”
Ashley started to laugh. “God, Liv, it’s theperfectdecision. We’re talking a holiday fling here, not sex with a guy you’re going to introduce to Mum. Though, actually, Mum would like him, so you could do both.”
She gaped at her sister. “I don’t want any man, Ash, never mind one I can take home to Mum. When are you going to understand that I want a different life than her, just as I want a different life than you two. I don’t want marriage; I don’t want kids. I want a life that gives mepurpose, challenges me.”
“And you think I don’t have purpose?” Jessica asked, looking down at her swollen belly. “You think this little one won’t challenge me?”
“Of course, but we weren’t talking about you, we were talking aboutme.” Olivia blew out a frustrated breath. “None of you understand me, but please trust me to know what makes me happy.”
Jessica glanced at Ashley, who shrugged but didn’t say anything, and for the next few minutes they sat in silence watching the seals.
Finally, Jessica bumped shoulders with her. “We thought we were helping, you know, giving you a little nudge in the direction we both believed you wanted to go, but I can see you’re not sure, so we promise to stop interfering. Don’t we, Ash.”
Ashley sighed. “Fine. But I want it on the record that if you don’t dive into bed with that hot young stud, you’re going to seriously regret it when you get back home.” She nodded toward the colony of seals. “Now, as much as I’ve enjoyed watching these guys swim and sunbathe, please let’s get back to the boat and focus on eating sugary baked goods.”
They strolled over to where Ned was waiting with the dinghy to ferry them to the boat. It annoyed Olivia no end that she felt no sizzle when he took her arm to help her on board.
And it really pissed her off when her eyes automatically scanned the deck, looking for a six-foot-three giant of a man in a chef’s jacket.
“Everyone is back.” Ned clearly assumed she was looking for Sophie and her friends, which was what she should have been doing. Damn it. “We’ll head off to Sconset now, where Luca and Connor will serve us our lunch.”
A short while later they were sailing along the coast. Glad of the distraction, Olivia rested her arms on the side and drank in the view. Charming gray shingle cottages surrounded by climbing roses perched along the cliff. Below were grassy banks full of wildflowers and rolling dunes leading down to a long stretch of gold-sand beach. This was why she’d taken time off work. To see a part of the world she’d not seen before and in the company of people she loved.
It wasn’t for a sleazy cougar fling.
“She’s quite a sight.”
Olivia didn’t need to turn around to know who’d just stepped behind her. The butterflies dancing in her stomach confirmed it for her.
It didn’t stop her glancing over her shoulder, though. And when she found herself staring into eyes an even more dazzling blue than the sea, those butterfly wings flapped faster than ever.
