“Is today the day Livvy gets on a plane?”
“Yes.”
The look she gave him was wise beyond her years. “Is that why you’re sad?”
He hugged her. “It is. But she’s got an exciting job to look forward to, so I’m happy for her too.”
He’d told her to go. Practically shoved her on the fucking plane. The fear that he’d pushed to the back of his mind resurfaced in a blaze of terror. She’d said she wasn’t sure whether to take the job, and he’d told her what he thought she’d wanted to hear.
But what if she reallyhadn’tmade up her mind?
What if she’d been waiting for him to give her a good reason to stay? Sure, he’d told her he loved her, but what if that hadn’t been enough? What if the woman who’d never wanted marriage, never wanted a family, had actually just needed some certainty about what would happen if she stayed?But I’m also scared of getting hurt. You won’t want to be saddled with a fifty-year-old woman.
“I’m sad Livvy’s going.” Ellie’s voice broke through his chaotic thoughts. “If she knows we’re both sad, she might change her mind.” Again, she tugged his hand. “You could tell her, Dad. Tell her we don’t want her to go.”
“I think she knows.” But did she? he thought frantically. He’d been busy playing the martyr when maybe what he should have been doing was fighting tooth and nail for her. “Besides, it’s probably too late.”
“Daaaaad.” Ellie let out what he could only describe as a huff of disgust. “You always tell me not to give up.”
He was being shown up by his nine-year-old daughter. He didn’t know whether to be deeply ashamed or deeply proud. “You’re right.” He did a rough calculation in his head. Over three hours before the flight was due to leave. “When Grandma and Granddad get here, I’ll dash to the airport. Maybe I can catch her before she checks in. I won’t be able to stop her,” he warned Ellie. “But at least I can tell her how much we’ll miss her.”
The moment his parents knocked on the door, he kissed Ellie, asked her to wish him good luck, and leapt off the sofa to let them in. “Change of plans,” he told them, heart thumping. “I’m going to the airport. See if I can talk to Livvy before she gets on her flight.”
His dad gave him a piercing look. “She’s worth chasing, no doubt. But why on earth did you leave it so late to talk to her?”
There it was again. “Because I’ve not changed,” he countered tightly. “I’m chaotic, disorganized. Inadequate. Not in a million years good enough for her, like I’ve never been good enough to be your son,” he snapped, gaze swinging between them, years of anger, of bitterness, flying to the surface. “Like I was never good enough for Amy. But you know what? Livvy never made me feel that way. She sees a loving dad to Ellie, a chef capable of managing the bistro. A future restaurant owner. Fuck knows why, she also thinks I’m something special. And whatever happens between her and me, I’ll always have that.”
His parents both took a breath. Then his mum did something she’d not done for twenty years, not since he’d broken his arm skateboarding: She put her arms around him. “Oh, Connor, I’m so sorry we made you feel like that.” When she drew back, he saw the emotion in her eyes. “Matt was always so easy. You, on the other hand... you frustrated us, worried us, and, yes, upset us.” She looked at his dad, who nodded. “But you’ve done a good job bringing up Ellie and we should have told you that. The fact that she’s such a happy little thing is proof you’re doing something right.”
He took the words as the compliment he figured she meant them to be. “Thanks. Now, if you could keep her happy while I try and prevent Livvy from flying out of my life, I’d be eternally grateful.”
With that, he grabbed his jacket and legged it out of the house and down to the tube station.
He didn’t have a plan—no change there. He only knew he needed to stop her before she checked in and somehow find the words to get her to understand she was it for him. A woman he was head over heels in love with now and who he’d still be besotted with ten years, twenty, fifty years down the line. His forever love.
When he entered the terminal, he looked up at the board. It was still well over two hours before her flight was due to leave. She was organized, but surely not organized enough to have already checked in?
Figuring he shouldn’t leave it to chance, he fired off a message to her.
I’m at the airport. Please, please, don’t check in before you’ve talked to me. C x
Then he parked himself near the check-in desks and prepared to wait.
And wait.
The minutes ticked away. When the time before check-in went from two hours twenty minutes to one hour and fifty-five minutes, fear that he’d missed her began to claw down his spine. Heart thumping, he messaged Jessica.
Am at the airport. You heard from her?
It was a few minutes before his phone rang.
“Please tell me you’re going to try and stop her?” Jessica sounded breathless.
“Should have tried earlier,” he muttered.
“Doesn’t matter, you’re there now. We saw her last night and she didn’t look happy, Connor. And when I phoned this morning to tell her to change her mind, I thought... maybe it was wishful thinking, but I thought she was wobbling. Have you tried phoning?”
“I’ve messaged her.” He flicked back to the message and frowned. “Hasn’t been read yet.”
