Finally Ellie went up to bed, but not before flinging her arms around Olivia’s neck and sending her already shredded emotions into a soggy pulp. Tears stung Olivia’s eyes as she watched the pair of them head upstairs.
Time and time again she’d told Connor she didn’t want to hurt him.
Yet the only way not to hurt him was to deny herself the opportunity she’d spent her whole life working toward.
She walked back into the kitchen and began to push plates into the dishwasher. Her heart faltered when she saw the glitter Connor hadn’t quite managed to mop up.
A pair of strong arms circled her waist from behind, making her jump. “Oh!”
“Talk to me,” he whispered. “I’m driving myself crazy imagining what’s wrong.”
Easier to say it like this, she thought, with her back to him. But that was the coward’s way.
Slowly she turned and looked him in the eye.
“They’ve moved the job to New York.”
One of the many things she loved about Connor was his inability to hide his emotions. When he was happy, his eyes shone. When he was annoyed, they flashed. When he was turned on, they smoldered. When he was upset, they clouded, like they did now. Only this was worse, because for a split second, his face seemed tocrumple.
Then he lowered his lids, blocking her from reading his thoughts.
When he opened them again, his eyes were guarded. “Is it a permanent move?”
“I asked that.” It felt like her throat was lined with sandpaper. “They said in all likelihood, yes, though of course nothing in business is ever set in stone.”
He gave a sharp nod. “Then I guess you need to move to New York.” His voice was flat, the muscles in his jaw working overtime.
“But I love you.”
“Thank you.” His eyes swam with emotion and he looked away for a few beats, blinking. When he looked back at her, his expression was so tender, it made her want to burst into tears. “You warned me right from the start the job was your priority.” His hand moved to cup her face. “I won’t be the reason you don’t take it. You’ll regret it, regret our life. And that...” His voice started to crack and he swallowed. “That would break me.”
Would she regret it if she didn’t take it? Or would she regret it if she took it and turned her back on this life she’d started to experience with Connor and with Ellie. A life where she balanced work with spending time with people she loved. “I don’t know if I can do it.” She meant she didn’t know if she could give him up, but for once he misunderstood her.
“What did you tell my daughter? You can do anything.” He exhaled roughly, touching his forehead to hers. “You’ll be magnificent, Livvy. Already you’ve smashed through the old-boy network to get this job.” His fingers trailed a gentle path down her cheek. “Just think what else you can achieve.”
“I could wait, apply for a CIO job with another company based in London.”
His eyes searched hers. “How long would that take? How would you feel when Stuart goes to New York in your place? What message would it send that you weren’t willing to relocate?”
He’d found her raw spot. She’d spent the past fifteen years convincing management and the board that she was a strong, independent woman focused on her career. Could she really turn around now and tell them she wasn’t going to take the job because she didn’t want to move away from her boyfriend and his child?
“Have you accepted it?” he asked quietly.
“I said I’d have an answer for them tomorrow, which caused a great deal of eyebrow-raising, but I told them they couldn’t expect me to agree to move to New York next week without at least some degree of consideration.”
“Next week?”
“Yes.” She couldn’t look at him. The devastation in his voice was hard enough to deal with. If she saw it on his face, there was a very real possibility she’d burst into noisy, messy tears and embarrass them both. “They’re expanding the New York office and need the CIO in place as soon as possible. Simon was going to move there short term, but his wife has developed health issues and needs treatment in the UK, so he wants to hand it over to me as soon as possible.” Her voice broke and she had to pause, drag in a breath. “The board want me to start from the New York office next week.”
He cursed under his breath and she felt his pain. It was like her heart had been turned inside out. “I don’t know what to do, Connor.”
“Yeah, I think you do, Livvy. I think you’ve always known.” There was resignation in his voice and an edge of anger but alsohurt. He was trying to hide it, but he was hurting badly, and the knowledge sliced through her. “Are you staying tonight?”
“I’ve not brought anything. I came straight from work.” The words were forced through a throat that felt like she’d swallowed a brick. “I didn’t think beyond needing to talk to you.”
He smoothed his thumb across her bottom lip, his eyes watching the action as if committing it to memory. “What do you need?” he asked softly.
“Fresh underwear and a shirt for tomorrow.” Her voice broke and tears rolled freely down her cheeks. “Something to sleep in.”
