I nod.
Avery’s brows knit together, but she gets busy helping Mia set up the game while I slip down the hall toward my bedroom, steeling myself against the churning in my belly.
“I know it’s last-minute,” Danny starts in once I’m in my room with the call off mute. “My family’s having a reunion of sorts. It’s over the break. Next week. We thought Mia could come out.”
“You want Mia for a week?” I keep my voice low and contained, sinking onto my bed and rubbing my temple. Mia’s right in the other room and these old houses have walls made of paper or something equally thin.
He wants her for a week? Our week off together? We had lain in her bed before she drifted to sleep a few nights ago, talking about all the things we would do together since my four days off overlap with her spring break.
I stare at the framed pictures of Mia and me on my dresser.
“It’s not a whole week, Hallie. I want to take her for fivedays. I’d pick her up Tuesday and bring her back late Saturday.All her cousins will be there. My mom thought it would be good to have her there.”
My vision blurs. The photos of Mia soften. I dab at a tear before it spills onto my cheek. It’s hard enough to keep life stable for Mia with my crazy schedule and her new routine. Whenever Danny’s mom says jump, I have to ask how high. And now Mia’s going to be swept away for five days of fun with Danny’s family. After which, I’ll have a week or two of re-establishing routines, answering a barrage of questions about when she’ll see her daddy again, and helping quell her grief because he’ll disappear indefinitely after this week.
Danny’s mom and I always got along. I know she loves Mia. And if it weren’t for her, Danny might never reach out to Mia at all. I just would have appreciated a heads-up.
I want to lay into him about it being his mom’s idea. But Danny is Mia’s dad—at least, biologically, he is. And anytime he wants to be with Mia is usually both hard and good for her. She always wants to spend time with him. She barely mentions him, but when she does it’s obvious she feels his absence. She talks about him like she’s talking about the semi-annual trips we took to Dollywood. Fond memories of an occasional visit. Her dad is just another amusement park visit in her life.
He has the right to see her. I got full custody. He signed that over to me. But he’s still allowed visitation. And he’s never overtly hurt her—unless you count the fact that he abandoned both of us. I definitely count that.
“Mom and Dad miss her, you know,” he adds. “And it’s been a while since we’ve spent any time with her.”
I breathe through my nose. Then I can’t help myself. “You go from seeing her on random holidays for a day to wanting a five-day trip where she stays with you?”
“I am her father, Hallie.”
I sigh. Hopefully he doesn’t hear it. “I know. It’s just so out of the blue.”
“Out of the blue for a father to want to see his daughter?”
I bite my tongue. I bite it so hard it might be bleeding.
“I’ll come get her and drive her back to you,” he offers, as if this is a great sacrifice on his part. “You don’t have to do any of the heavy lifting.”
Really? Because from my end, it feels like I do every bit of the heavy lifting—all day, every day. And I never mind doing it. Not ever. I adore my daughter. I’ll always put her first—even to the point of sacrificing my own happiness if that’s what it takes—because she’s a gift and raising her is a privilege.
Danny’s sporadic and inconvenient presence never fails to spike my blood pressure. My heart is pounding like I just ran a mile. And now I’m biting my tongue and my cheek. I’m about to eat my own mouth for dinner to keep myself from speaking my mind to my ex-husband. If I thought it would do any good, I’d share every last thought with him, begging him to do better. But he won’t change. Six years into this co-parenting arrangement has taught me that time and again.
“Tuesday through Saturday,” I say. “I’m off Wednesday through Saturday.”
“Well, this will work out great for you then,” he says, magnanimously. “You can have some child-free time to yourself.”
I don’t mention that my mom is living here. I also don’t tell him I was hoping to do some fun things with Mia during our time off together. I could tell him no. It’s within my rights. He’s not giving me much notice. But I never want to be in the position of keeping Mia from her dad. She loves time with him. I picture her, years from now, hearing that she had a chance to go to a fun Collins family reunion and I saidno. She’d be upset. And I wouldn’t blame her. Her dad is not a mean person. He’s just … inadequate and disappointing.
“Okay,” I relent.
“Okay? Hallie, thank you. I know this was last-minute. And I don’t feel great about that.”
“It’s fine,” I say. “Try not to make a habit of it.”
I don’t know why I saythat. Danny makes a habit of nothing when it comes to Mia.
“I won’t. She’s going to have the time of her life. Can I talk to her?”
“Sure. Yeah. We’re just having a girls’ night with Ave.”
“Tell Avery I said hi.”
