But some days, I lost the battle with the tiny seed of resentment over being left behind. It’s been two years since we graduated from high school, and they’ve already figured out what the fuck they want out of life. Who does that?
It’s unfair for me to feel this way. I know that. But knowing doesn’t help it go away.
Thorin, Khalil, and I talk for an hour before there’s a knock on Thor’s door. He gets up to answer it, and when he returns, he isn’t alone. Only half of the room is lit by a lamp, so I catch the silhouette of a woman as she shyly sits on the edge of his bed. She’s short in stature with dark hair pulled back in a bun, a cute button nose, pouty pink lips, and a sergeant rank emblazoned on the front of her uniform. She clearly has a few years on Thorin too, appearing in her late twenties.
“One sec,” he tells her before turning away to face the laptop. Thorin leans down so that he’s eye level with the camera, blocking our view of the nervous girl.
“My boy,” Khalil covertly praises with a grin.
Thorin winks. “Gotta go.”
“Remember your safe words!”
“And wear a condom!” I shout just before his screen goes black.
Khalil and I are silent for several seconds before we erupt in a roar that lasts until I have a stitch in my side. For someone who acts like he’s no good with charming women, Thorin sure works fast when he wants to. His Nordic features and those muscles he flaunts make him look like he’s stepped straight out of a Viking romance. He’s also mean as fuck, which…I guess some girls like too.
Once Khalil and I quiet, I notice a second too late that he’s watching me with an assessing gaze that wasn’t there before Thorin hung up. “So what’s up, man? Everything cool over there? You good?”
“Yeah.” My gaze shifts to the side as I rub the back of my neck. “Everything’s…the same,” I finish lamely because I can’t even think of a lie worth telling when I spend my days on autopilot.
Khalil is quiet for a moment before he eyes me hesitantly, and I know what he’s going to say before he even speaks. “You know my offer still stands. I’ve got a few months before my title fight. Say the word and I’ll send you a plane ticket.”
I laugh him off like I always do to keep from feeling like a total fucking loser.
My mom died when I was nine, and I barely remember her. My memories of my time with her are fragmented, inconsistent, and covered in rain clouds. There are pieces that whisperterrorand others that promise love. But all those pieces have done is left me confused and torn—like I could split right in half—until I taught myself not to think about her at all. After she died, I was bounced around foster homes—when I wasn’t in juvie—so I never stuck around in one place long enough for any of the countless faceless people who sheltered me to encourage me toward more. I can’t blame it all on the broken system though. I stopped caring long before they did.
“You’re just saying that because you feel guilty about leaving, and youfucking shouldn’t,” I tell Khalil. “I’m a grown man. Besides…” I force a smile as I wink at the screen. “We can’t all be destined for greatness, and I have no interest in being your baggage.” When Khalil says nothing and the silence stretches on, I realize all I’ve probably done is give him more reason to worry about me. “Look, I’ll find my own thing,” I promise softly. “You and Thorin did. I’m just a little slower to get off the stoop. That’s all.”
“Yeah, I hear you, man,” he says unconvincingly before switching the subject. “How’s work?”
I shrug noncommittally. “Fine.”
Khalil’s eyes narrow. “My pops told me you’ve been showing up late or not at all sometimes. What’s up with that? You know he loves you like a son, but hewillfire your ass, Zeke.”
“You checking up on me?”
“Of course. You’re my brother.”
“Well, don’t bother. I’m fine. I was just… I’m fine. Okay?”
“I know you are, man. It’s just…” Khalil blows a breath and shakes his head but doesn’t finish whatever he’d been about to say. Suddenly, he looks stressed and cornered, and now I’m the one worried.
“What?” I prod urgently.
His eyes flash with annoyance. “Has it even occurred to you that I’m offering to bring you with me because I fucking miss you too? Being on the road isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I get homesick. I get lonely. It isn’t just always aboutyou.”
“You literally have like fifty people in your hotel room right now.”
An intense look of aggravation suddenly crossed Khalil’s handsome face. “Man, I don’t know them fucking people,” he gripes.
I snorted. “Well, who invited them?”
“Gary.”
I groan. “Dude, I told you making your cousin your manager was a mistake. He’s a drunk. All he ever wants to do is party.”
“Yeah, yeah. I know. I know. But he has a good head for business. Plus, if I fire him, my Aunt Cherise is going to kick my ass. Thanksgiving already be nothing but drama.”
