Sen pushed through, slamming the door behind her. Lee stumbled back and fell onto his futon, feeling impossibly small under Sen’s looming shadow. She crouched over him and caged him with her arms on either side of his head, her dark eyes blazing. Lee remained still and limp beneath her.
“You said you think death is like an ocean,” she said, herwords bright and breathless. “I’m under the water and you’re above it, and we’re reaching for each other, meeting in the middle.”
“I... Yes,” Lee stuttered. “But—”
“So, could you take my hand and pull me out?” Sen said.
Her arms trembled, a soft glint of fear in her eyes as she held her breath and awaited his answer.
What happened while you were gone?Lee thought. Perhaps Sen had panicked as she drew closer to the day of her death. She had never before seemed so unraveled.
“What do you mean?” Lee asked.
Sen let out a sound of frustration, biting her lip and hanging her head. Her soft hair brushed across Lee’s face. “Do you think the past can be changed?” she asked, the words so quiet and fragile that a soft wind could have torn them apart.
Lee wanted to lie to Sen, to tell her whatever would calm her enough to continue helping him. But now, with her heartbeat so close to his and the fragile look in her eyes, he couldn’t find the words.
“I don’t know,” Lee said at last. “But if you want any chance at all, you need to leave Chiran.”
Sen huffed out a stiff breath. “I told you, I can’t leave my father,” she said. “I need to stay and fight. Couldn’t you help me with that?”
“Me?” Lee said. He tried to sit up, but Sen wouldn’t move, her glare pinning him to the futon.
“Couldn’t you find me other kinds of weapons?” she said, leaning closer. Without the curtain of her hair blocking the moonlight, her eyes looked like an endless abyss. “The imperial soldiers will have guns, so it’s only fair.”
Lee shook his head. “Sen, I can’t get guns in Japan. I don’t even know how to get them in America.”
“Your people brought them to Japan,” Sen said. She leaned soclose that Lee could taste her anger, could feel the feverish heat in her face, the frantic beating of her heart. “You can use weapons against us, but not for us?”
Lee had never feared Sen before that moment because he’d thought he understood her. He had something she needed, so she wouldn’t harm him—it was that simple. But now Sen had become desperate, and desperation made people unpredictable.
“Sen, I would if I could, but they don’t give guns to foreign tourists in Japan,” Lee said.
Sen gritted her teeth, and for a moment, Lee was certain she was going to kill him. He had never seen such blazing anger in her eyes—in anyone’s eyes—before. Even when he’d killed James, he hadn’t seen such hatred, because James’s eyes had popped out of his skull rather quickly.
But then Sen’s gaze snapped to the left—toward the hallway—and she jumped to her feet, startled by whatever she saw. She turned toward the closet as if she meant to return home, but hesitated at the sight of shifting shadows and muted voices on the other side.
“I have to hide,” she said as she turned around, her gaze darting around the room as if cataloging her options. But there was no furniture in Lee’s room, nothing Sen could hide behind.
Sen’s gaze landed on his empty suitcase, which he’d just finished unpacking, and she rushed toward it.
“No, don’t—” Lee said, but Sen had already pulled the lid shut on top of herself.
Get out, Lee wanted to scream.That’s a sacred space.He felt nauseous just looking at the suitcase. He remembered the dead sea turtle rotting inside.Let me out, Lee.He gripped his hair, his teeth chattering uncontrollably. The world was white sand beneath his feet, ready to swallow him.
The door to Lee’s room slid open.
Hina stood halfway in the doorframe, one hand tucked behind her back.
“Hina?” Lee said, frowning. Why would Sen be afraid of Hina? Sen had drawn her sword at the sound of his father approaching, but cowered away from Hina, who was half his height?
“I thought I heard something,” Hina said evenly. “Are you all right?”
Lee did his best to relax his shoulders, to pretend the suitcase in the corner didn’t exist. If he paid too much attention to it, Hina would get suspicious. “I’m fine,” he said as calmly as he could.
“Are you sure?” Hina said. Lee held his breath as Hina’s gaze lingered on the suitcase.
“Yes,” he said quickly. “Don’t worry, Hina.”
