“Damn Denny,” he muttered before he added, “Amattracted.Present tense.And the last thing I wanted to do was turn you over to Jackson, but I had to.Lawyerly ethics can be a bitch about things like attraction to a client.I hope you understand.”
“I’m trying to.”She put her other hand on top of his, trapping him.“I have no business being equally attracted, or sitting in your cozy kitchen, holding the hand of a man who avoids commitment like the plague.”
Julian winced.“Denny told you that, huh?”
“He mentioned that you’re not a forever kind of guy.Because of your parents, right?”
He stared at her for a long moment, so long she wondered if she’d messed up by mentioning his parents.“That’s a big part of it.”
“Why do you look surprised that I asked that?”
“Because most people don’t connect the two things—my desire to remain unattached and the mess my parents made of our childhood.They think it’s only because of what I see every day at work.I let them believe that, but the wound runs deeper, you know?”
“I get it.Why would you want anything to do with happily ever after when you witnessed an ugly divorce and spend your days taking apart marriages?”
He nodded as he looked down at their hands, piled together on the counter.“Weird thing, though…”
“What is?”
“That I have no desire to warn you off me or tell you to look out for yourself around me the way I normally would.”
“Is that unusual?”
“It’s unprecedented.”He put his free hand on top of the pile.“What do you make of that?”
“I don’t know which end is up right now.”
“I want you to know that if I hadn’t run into you at the store, I would’ve left you alone for all the reasons.”
“But you wanted to see me?”
“So,somuch.You’re all I’ve thought about since the minute we met, even when I’m getting paid to think about other stuff.”
“I’m not sure what to make of this situation.”
“Neither am I.I’m in completely uncharted territory with you.”
“Can I tell you something?”
“Anything you want.”
“Even though he told me I don’t have to be, I think I should be involved in caring for Gabriel or at least visit him.”
“Where will he be?”
“In Santa Barbara with his parents, who I just met for the first time at the hospital last night.Ours wasn’t the only relationship to suffer from his illness.”She ventured a glance at him.“Do you think I’m crazy, after everything he put me through, to want to be there for him?”
“Once upon a time, you loved him enough to marry him and have kids with him.”
“Yes,” she said with a sigh of relief that he understood.“That’s it exactly, and I want to have a clear conscience going forward about honoring my vows.As I say that out loud, I realize it sounds incredibly quaint.”
“As someone who works on the front lines of the broken-vow brigade, I think it sounds admirable.But…”
“There’s always a but,” she said, smiling.“Okay, let me have it.”
“I’d be concerned about the toll it would take on you emotionally to be on the front lines of such a tragic situation after everything you’ve already been through.”
“I’ve thought of that, and I’m not going to lie.It does give me pause.My number one priority is being able to care for my kids and to be there for whatever they need.”
