Over the next ten minutes, she made him swear, sweat, beg and plead.Every time she brought him close to release, she backed off and started over.His legs were trembling, and his hands were wrapped up in her hair as she started the whole thing again, this time taking him all the way to the finish line.
He bit back the urge to shout from the power of his release.
She stayed with him until he sagged into the bed, his muscles going slack.
The only sound in the room was his labored breathing.
Isla kissed the rippling muscles on his abdomen, then moved up to his chest and lips.
His eyes opened, and the heated look he gave her seared her soul.“How soon do you want to get married?”
She laughed as he wrapped his arms around her.“Does that mean you enjoyed the full package?”
“My full package enjoyed it very much.”
His chest was like a bellows until he finally caught his breath and relaxed somewhat.
“Do something for me,” she said tentatively.
“Anything.”
“Don’t make jokes about getting married if it’s never going to be in the cards for us.”
“I won’t.I’m sorry.”
“I mean, don’t get me wrong… Getting married is the last thing on my mind after these last few years.But…”
He couldn’t seem to stop playing with her hair when he was with her.It was so soft and slid through his fingers like spun silk.“What, honey?”
“It’s just that since I lost my parents so suddenly, I think I’ve been kind of chasing the sense of family and belonging to something that was lost with them.Denny did his best, but it wasn’t the same, and then Gabriel came along, and I thought maybe he’d be the one to fill that gaping hole inside me.For a while, I thought I was healed, you know?”
“Yeah, I get what you’re saying.”
“But it didn’t last, and now here I am having to rebuild again from scratch, and here you are when the last thing I was looking for was something like this.I certainly don’t think that marriage is the be-all and end-all, but I do think it’s something I want again someday, when the time is right and the person is right.”She sighed.“I feel like I’m making no sense.”
“You’re making perfect sense, and you deserve to have everything you want in life.”
“My kids are everything to me, and they fill a big part of that hole my parents left, but it’s not the same as having a partner who belongs only to me, who commits to me for a lifetime and is there for all the ups and downs that come our way.I’m in no way actively looking for that right now, but I don’t think I can get into a situation where it’s never going to be a possibility.”
Julian’s heart sank deeper with every word she said.He totally understood where she was coming from, but the thought of never seeing her again was physically painful, as was the thought of legally binding himself to another person after swearing he never would.Picturing himself taking those vows and signing that marriage license made him feel physically ill, but the idea of losing her forever made him ache like nothing else ever had.
“I want to reassure you, to tell you I might be able to give you all the things you want in this life, but I can’t do that and be truthful with you, too.It’s important to me that I always tell you the truth, because I’d never want to hurt you or your kids.”
“I appreciate that, even if I wish things were different.”
Julian had never wished more that he’d been raised differently, that he’d seen less of the many, many ways that people could hurt the ones they’d once loved so much they’d pledged to love and honor them for the rest of their lives.
If there was one thing he knew for certain, it was that nothing lasted forever.
Though it was the last thing in the world he wanted to do, he sat up, got out of bed, found his clothes and got dressed.
Isla was the most amazing woman he’d ever met, and there was no way he would add to the hell and heartache she’d been through in her life by stringing her along on a path to nowhere.
When he was ready to go, he sat on the edge of the bed, feeling as heartbroken as he ever had.Leaning in, he kissed her bare shoulder and then her lips.
The tears that slid down her cheeks broke something in him that could never be put back together the way it’d been before he’d known her.
“I want to take you to Santa Barbara on Thursday, and I want you to come to the premiere, okay?”
