Mila gave Julian the side-eye.
He wiggled his fingers at her, and she dove into Isla’s shoulder to hide from him.
“She’s grumpy when she first wakes up,” Theo told Julian as he continued to try to replicate his moves with the tie.
Julian guided him patiently until they had the knot tied.
“I did it, Mom!Look, I did it!”
“You sure did.Great job, honey.”
“I want to do it again.”
Julian untied the knot and walked him through the steps a second time.
Isla thought about the much more important things Julian probably should’ve been doing but couldn’t bring herself to tell him to go back to work, that she’d be fine.She didn’t want him to go, and he didn’t seem in any particular rush to depart.
He glanced over at her while Theo worked on his tie.
She met his gaze, still holding Mila.“This is my life.”
“I know.”
“You should berunningfor your life.”
“I know that, too.”
Mila squirmed to get free from her mother, so Isla put her down to play on the floor with Theo, who had Julian’s tie looped around his neck.“So why aren’t you?”
“I don’t want to.Unless…”
“What?”
Julian took her hand and linked their fingers.“Would you rather put this on hold for now?I don’t want to intrude during such a difficult time for you.”
“You’re not intruding.I’m glad you’re here, and as hard and shocking as the past several days have been… I’m trying to focus on the future rather than the past and figure out what’s best for myself and the kids and… I don’t want to put anything on hold, even though the timing is less than ideal.”
“That’s good news, because I don’t want that either, but I do want you to promise me something.”
“What’s that?”
“If it starts to feel like too much on top of a lot, you have to tell me.You won’t hurt my feelings, and I’ll still be here when you’re feeling ready.”
“I can do that.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
With their heads resting on the back of the sofa, gazes locked, hands joined, a thrill of anticipation zinged through her.It’d been so, so long since she’d looked forward to anything or been excited about something that wasn’t related to the kids that she’d almost forgotten what it felt like.
“What’re you thinking?”he asked.
“That it feels good to feel good.”
“I’m glad you’re feeling good.”
“I’m still sad and stunned, but I’m glad you’re here, too.I guess all those things can be true at the same time.”After a pause, she said, “Will you promise me something?”
