“You can do this, Theo,” Theodora motivated herself as she arrived at Hawthorne House. But her pulse was already unsteady, and her knees felt weak again.
She had barely slept. Every time she closed her eyes, she felt Alexander’s hands on her skin, his breath against her throat, and the way he had pleasured her senselessly in the nook of his armchair. She had woken before dawn, restless and flushed, her mind a tangle of logic and longing. Even when she sat to write her notes, she could not do so without her body reacting in ways that were sinful.
As the carriage halted, she reminded herself that she was here for Rosalind and to deliver the cream. She composed herself and said a silent prayer until a footman opened the door, and she stepped out, clutching her notebook and the small jar of cream in her reticule.
The footmen led her to the drawing room. Theodora noticed that the door was open, and she heard voices inside. It did not take her long to realize that it was Alexander’s low, steady tone, and Rosalind’s softer one. Theodora took a moment to admire them as they played a game of chess. Rosalind looked better than yesterday, and Alexander looked as dashing as ever but she would never admit that. She observed him for a minute, the way he smiled and seemed more at ease with his sister. There was something different about him, almost as if he seemed happier.She inhaled, braced herself as the footmen announced her, and entered.
Both of them looked up when she entered and Alexander stood immediately. The tension between them was instant. His gaze swept over her as though he were remembering every place he had touched her. She felt heat rise in her cheeks as she too undressed him with her eyes.
“Theo,” he said quietly, and her name sounded like a prayer on his lips. She shuddered and responded with a small smile in his direction.
“Miss Dowell,” Rosalind approached her, smiling.
The young girl seemed unsure whether to simply greet her or hug as well, so Theo broke the confusion, placed her book and reticule down, and pulled Rosalind into a tight hug.
“Good morning, dear Lady Rosalind.”
They pulled apart and beamed at each other.
“I shall fetch my bonnet at once!” Rosalind said excitedly and Theo’s heart clenched.
“I am afraid that I cannot stay long today…I have something urgent to attend to at home.”
Rosalind’s smile faltered. Her shoulders dipped, just slightly, but enough for Theo to see the disappointment. And Theo’s heart pinched with guilt. She could not bring herself to look at Alexander. She knew that he would be furious.
Before Rosalind could retreat into herself, Theodora reached for her reticule and pulled out a smaller bound volume that was handwritten and carefully stitched together by herself.
“This is for you,” she said, offering it.
Rosalind reached for the notebook with a slight smile. “Thank you, but what is it?”
“My studies on tea,” Theo said and winked at her. “I thought you might like it after our conversation yesterday.”
Rosalind’s face lit up with a brightness Theo had not seen before. It was rare and beautiful.
“I… I love it,” she whispered, holding the book as though it were something precious. “Thank you.”
Theo smiled as warmth bloomed in her chest. When she finally turned towards Alexander, she saw that he watched them with an unreadable expression.
“Are you sure you cannot stay for tea?” he asked suddenly. “Or lunch?”
Theo shook her head quickly. “No. Truly, I must go.”
Rosalind, still clutching the book, said, “I should… go read this. Thank you again, Miss Dowell.”
She curtsied but before she slipped out of the drawing room, Theo stopped her.
“Lady Rosalind, please know that I only have an emergency to attend to today, but I do not plan to stop our walks at all.”
A sense of relief flashed across her young face. She nodded.
“I look forward to our walks,” she said happily.
Theodora smiled and gave her a tight hug before she left the drawing room. Theo and Alexander were then left alone.
A tense and heavy silence fell upon them like a thick blanket.
Theo’s pulse hammered. Alexander did not step closer. He kept his distance and yet he still affected her so. Her body hummed with the memories of him, and she tried her best to restrain herself.
