When he finally reached the family, he stopped directly in front of Theodora. She looked stunned, as though she wasn’t sure he was real. Her eyes were red from crying, her lips trembling, her posture stiff with resignation. Seeing her broken, defeated, and preparing to disappear into a life she did not choose hit him harder than any punch he had ever taken.
He forced himself to breathe. “Theodora,” he said, roughly, “Ask me how I feel?”
Her father stepped forward immediately. “You will not speak to my daughter. You had your chance and now she is leaving. This spectacle ends now.”
Before Alexander could respond, Lady Dowell turned on her husband with a fury that startled everyone. “Benjamin, for once in your life, shut your trap.”
Lord Dowell froze, stunned by the sudden rebellion. His mouth opened, then closed again, as if he could not quite process that his wife had spoken to him that way.
Alexander did not look at him. His eyes stayed on Theodora.
“Please,” he said quietly. “Just ask me how I feel.”
Theodora swallowed. He took it as a good sign that she did not move away or tell him to leave. She simply stood there, staring at him as though she were afraid of him.
“How did you find out?” It was not what he wanted but she finally spoke and her voice tore his heart to pieces.
Alexander took a deep breath, steadying himself.
“Anna and Spencer came to Wiltshire last night.”
Theodora let out a humorless laugh. “Anna…of course.”
Alexander had no speech prepared. Everything he had rehearsed on the ride over had vanished as he looked at her. She towered above him majestically and he could admire her for days. But he had to speak and it had to be nothing but the truth.
“Theo, I trained my body for years to endure pain,” he began, speaking steadily even though his heart was pounding. “Boxing, fighting, and discipline was what kept me sane. I thought I understood what real pain was. I thought I knew how to withstand it.”
“You came to see me to talk aboutboxing?” Her brows furrowed and a fresh wave of pain washed over her features.
“Let me finish,” he said patiently.
“All right,” she whispered.
“Nothing,” he continued, “no fight or opponent had prepared me for the pain of imagining a life without you.”
Her breath hitched, but she stayed silent.
Alexander pushed on. “When I left that day, I told myself I was doing the sensible thing. That I was protecting myself and I was avoiding the kind of pain that destroys people. I told myself I did not believe in love, that I did not need it, and that I was better off without it.”
He shook his head. “I was wrong, Theo. I have been wrong about many things in my life, but never more than I was about you. Now, ask me how do I feel?”
Her father muttered something under his breath, but her mother shot him a glare so sharp he stepped back and gave them their space.
Theodora sighed. “How do you feel, Alex?”
Alexander reached into his coat and pulled out a small velvet box. His hands were shaking as he opened it, revealing a delicate gold ring with a sapphire set in the center.
“This was my mother’s,” he said quietly. “She wore it every day of her life. She loved my father fiercely and he loved her. I feel as though I have never understood that kind of love…until I met you.”
Theodora stared at the ring, and back at him, completely stunned.
Her eyes widened, and for the first time since he arrived, she reacted. She shook her head slightly, overwhelmed. “Alexander… you walked away from me. If you are only doing this to save me from the convent, then you need to leave.”
Alexander stepped closer to her. “I am not asking you to marry me so that I can save you. I am asking because you are the only person who has ever saved me.”
“But how can I trust you again?” She choked on her tears.
“You can trust me because I love you. And I have never loved anyone before you. I did not know I could feel anything like this. I know that you may not believe in love or feel anything for me. But I have those feelings for you. And I will love enough for both of us.”
