The thought frightened her and she wasn’t sure why. If her letter reached him in time, he might come and if it didn’t… then at least she had said her goodbyes.
But did she truly want to say goodbye to him?
Her heart raced as she remembered surrendering her body to him. She had claimed it was all for science but now she doubted her reasons, especially after they spoke and opened up to each other. She had not dared write the truth plainly to Alexanderbecause she was afraid that her father had been reading everything before allowing the letters to go to the post.
And she was right.
Lord Dowell had been inspecting every letter, every scrap of paper, and every message that entered or left the house. Thankfully, Theodora’s notebook was locked within her drawer and only she had the key. She was risking it all, writing to and about Alexander.
Nevertheless, she still needed to see him. So, she had written anonymously. She’d slipped her letter into the stack of her father’s outgoing correspondence and prayed that it would be delivered unnoticed.
She hoped Alexander would recognize her handwriting and understand what she could not say. And a part of her hoped that he would come. But it was wishful thinking.
Perhaps he had already left. Perhaps he never received it. Perhaps all of this was for nothing!
Her chest tightened painfully as she watched the sun begin to set.
Just as her thoughts drifted towards Alexander and her body began to crave him, the library door opened and Lord Dowell stepped inside.
“Ah, there you are!” he said smugly.
Theodora felt instantly cold in his presence.
He looked at her with a mixture of triumph and disgust.
What is he up to now?
His beady eyes swept over her as though she were an inconvenience he had been forced to acknowledge.
“Father,” she said, turning herself fully towards him. “Have you come to tell me that I may I leave the house? I do have pressing matters to attend to this evening.”
He closed the door behind himself. “I told you, I will let you and your mother out once I have cleared things up properly.”
“You mean once you have ended things with your mistresses?”
A thick uncomfortable silence settled between them as they glared at each other.
Theodora had finally lost all her patience for the man who stood before her. If he could not love and respect her mother, hiswife, then surely, he didn’t deserve his children’s love and respect either.
“All these years I thought you were the quiet daughter who would avoid conflict at all costs.” He let out a bark of humorless laughter as he walked over to the wines and poured himself a drink. “It seems I was wrong.”
“You have been saying you will clear things up for two days now,” she replied, ignoring his insult and tone. “You have not even allowed any messages to leave the house. Evelina has been writing to me constantly and if I do not respond, then she will grow suspicious.”
Her father laughed again. This time it was a sharp sound that made her skin rise uncomfortably.
“Do you think I am mad, Theodora?” He twirled the glass of wine in his hand.
She frowned. “No. I just think you are being unreasonable.”
“Watch your tone.” His eyes narrowed at her like a snake’s.
She clenched her hands at her sides; she’d had enough of her father’s taunts. The urge to see Alexander grew so strong that she imagined pushing past Lord Dowell and running away.
But that would be absurd, especially for her.
“Evelina will not remain silent,” Theodora said, lifting her chin. “If I do not reply, she will come here herself. Or shewill send someone. You cannot keep me locked away without consequences.”
Her father’s expression shifted as he studied her.
