“The beads--the selchilite--represent your family, right? Your place in Thaf’ell society?” Jace brushed fingers over some of them and they clicked.
“Yes, that is why I must remove them,” Khoth explained.
“It’s to make you feel rootless? Alone? Right?” Jace pushed.
Khoth’s head lowered this time. “Yes.”
“But you’re not!” Jace cried.
Khoth’s eyes lifted to Jace’s. “I do not--”
“You’re not alone. That’s why I was wrong to let you go by yourself to do this,” Jace told him. “Khoth, I know we just met, but from the first moment I saw you… I felt something. A connection. I knew I could trust you.”
“You took a great leap of faith?” Khoth cocked an eyebrow to see if he’d gotten the idiom right.
“Perfect.” Another brilliant smile and ducked head. “But it didn’t feel like one. I just knew. And you didn’t let me down. So I’m not going to let you down now.” Jace’s hands tightened on his. “I don’t have anything yet to replace those selchilite, but I will. But I’m going to be here now with you while you do this so you know this isn’t an ending. It is a new beginning.”
Khoth felt a warmth in his Xi. He found he could not speak for long moments. He blinked rapidly and looked away from Jace. Finally, he was able to say, “I am grateful for this, Jace.”
“You don’t have to be, Khoth. You and me? We’re like family now. This stuff is just expected,” Jace said lightly.
Khoth’s heart beat harder. Jace did not know what he was saying. In Thaf’ell that was the equivalent of a marriage proposal. But Jace was human. Their culture was not the same. And they had just met one another! Why was he reacting so strongly to the even suggestion that Jace could mean more? It was very illogical.
“So how can I help? Or is it just a sit here quietly thing?” Jace asked. He had settled into a cross-legged position beside Khoth and he flapped his legs up and down.
“Can you sit quietly?” Khoth allowed his voice to show doubt even as a smile wanted to lift his lips. It was the first real smile he’d given that day.
“I don’t know.” Jace shrugged and gave his folded legs another flap.
“Then I will be the one who wields the Tyrhung. As you can see it is sharp and needs a steady hand,” Khoth said and this time he lifted the dagger easily.
“It’s a shame to cut off any of your hair,” Jace said sorrowfully. “It’s so beautiful. Eye catching.”
Jace stretched a hand and touched some of the strands that were threaded through the selchilite.
“It is the only way and it is traditional. I will cut off the strands and hand them to you,” Khoth said, his voice surprisingly steady as if this wasn’t almost as traumatic as cutting off one’s history. “Then you shall put them in the scooped out part of the altar.”
Jace nodded, showing his understanding. His eyes followed the Tyrhung as Khoth brought it up to the first section of hair.
“Remember, Khoth, you’re not alone. I’m with you,” Jace said.
Khoth’s Xi shimmered within him at those words and he cut the first strands. He laid them in Jace’s hands. The beads settled in Jace’s palms. Jace closed his hands around them. Khoth indicated he should put the strands on the altar. Reverently, Jace placed the silky strands and beads in the inset. Immediately, they began to sizzle and smoke. Jace let out a cry and moved to yank the hair and beads out.
“No, Jace. That’s meant to happen,” Khoth told him.
Jace nodded again, but his eyes were filled with horror as the beads and hair dissolved. “This isn’t right. You’re trying to save your family. You've had the right things all along.”
“It is a price I am willing to pay,” Khoth told him and moved his head. Already he could feel the lack of weight from just taking one length of the selchilite.
“It’s not right,” Jace repeated, but he placed his hands on his lap to take the next.
Khoth did not hesitate any longer. Jace was in pain as well as him. And he would not exacerbate Jace’s discomfort. He sliced off all of the lengths of hair and selchilite. Jace placed each on the altar and they sizzled and smoked. Finally, the last one was ready to be placed on the altar. Khoth’s head felt light. But not like something was missing.
“Ready?” Jace asked.
And to his surprise, Khoth said, “Yes, I am.”
Jace placed the last strand on the altar. “I’ll find something to make up for this.”
