But Jace shook his head. “I won’t be tested. I am not going to any lab. I have things to do.”
His father’s forehead furrowed. “Is it because of all the testing you went through before? Because I can understand that. Yet, what if your blood could help people?”
“It can’t,” Jace was surprised how certain he was of this. He shook his head. “I don’t know, Dad. I just feel it would be a bad idea to go down this road. The process is more than just pumping me full of chemicals and cooking me. I think it's really particular.”
“The Osiris is telling you this?”
“Maybe. I’m not sure. I just feel it.” Jace shook his head, not sure how to explain it.
“Well, your feelings have always been spot on so I’m not going to gainsay you,” his father said, but there was clearly still some dissatisfaction with his answers.
“I know that what’s happened to me seems like something that can help other people, Dad,” Jace answered the unasked question.
His father smiled and shook his head. “You know me just as well as I know you.”
“If I could give what I had to anyone it would be to you and Mom,” Jace admitted. “I don’t want…”
He stopped before he ended that sentence. He didn’t want to be alone. He didn’t want to live past everyone he knew. Suddenly, the very thought of eternity didn’t seem so much like a blessing in that moment.
“You know I asked Khoth if he believed in an afterlife right when we were on the Hive, practically squirming on our bellies,” Jace said and this sounded like a non sequitur, but it wasn’t.
“Do the Thaf’ell believe in an afterlife?” his father asked, allowing the seeming change of subject.
“They believe we all go back to basically star dust, you know? That’s an incredibly logical response,” Jace said, then bit his lower lip. “But that means that we–you and I and everybody–stops being ourselves.”
“We go on, but not as us? Yes, I could see how that could be true,” his father answered.
“Do you believe that? We’ve never talked about this stuff, because… well, we were all pretty sure I was going to die before you guys,” Jace admitted.
He saw his father’s expression out of the corner of his eye. It was pained. They had gotten life insurance, made good investments, done everything to make sure that he was taken care of with the hopes that he would survive them. But Jace could see now from a distance that he hadn’t had before--and the clarity of it not being something that was going to happen--that he had been getting worse.
So the Khul invasion was actually a plus for me, he thought sadly. But not for Mrs. Lo. Not for so many others. Maybe I shouldn’t be worried about living forever. Going up against the Khul doesn’t exactly lend itself to a long lifespan.
“I honestly don’t know. I want to believe there’s something, but I sometimes think that’s just because I don’t want to stop living,” his father answered. “But the rules of life are that someday you have to stop playing.”
“Unless what was done to me can be duplicated,” Jace added.
“I don’t know if we want too many immortal humans, Jace,” his father stated dryly.
“Yeah, you might be right about that. But enough gloomy things,” Jace said, mentally putting aside the death and afterlife questions. “Where do you want to crash tonight?”
His father lifted an eyebrow in silent questioning.
“Do you want to sleep in your bed on Earth or on the Osiris?” Jace clarified.
Both of his father’s eyebrows lifted. “Oh, you tempt me here! In my boring old bed or a spaceship? Let me think…”
“Dad!” Jace laughed.
“The Osiris! But I need to talk to Diane first. But I’m sure she’ll agree. Your mother is already itching to explore every inch of the ship. So much was closed to us until now,” his father explained. “But she’s at the base and she might need me there.”
“Let’s find out,” Jace said.
“Ah, no cell phone coverage out here, Jace.” His father waggled his useless iPhone at him.
“It’s called AIs, Dad. Gehenna is with Mom so I can easily find out what’s going on,” Jace said.
It was amazing how much easier accessing the AIs was now, how natural, but ever since he’d gotten his hands on the Storm Spike his comfort with his abilities had increased by leaps and bounds. The ship anchored him somehow. His hands danced over the holographic displays while he contacted Gehenna at the same time.
