“I never said it’s perfect. It needs some tweaking, but this is big, very big. I’m booking a flight for myself to Beijing too. I’ll meet you there next week. Jerry’s testicles are going to explode when he finds out.”
A trip to China to watch a man’s balls explode, what more could I have asked for?
“I’m not wearing it until I’m there.” I poured crispy rice cereal into my gooey concoction—microwaved rice crispy treats, my weakness and obsession.
“You have to wear it through security. If you pack it, someluggage troll with a TSA badge will steal it and have it on eBay by sunset.”
“I could bring down the plane with my robotic kung-fu leg.”
Thad chuckled. “Only if you’re thinking about it.”
“Well, since we’re having this conversation, it’s all I’ll think about because that’s how the mind works. Don’t think about food. Yep, that’s all I’ll think about. Snakes? Spiders? Sex? My mind is going to go there on its own, especially if it knows it’s not supposed to!” I shoved a spoonful into my mouth.
“Sex, huh?”
“Shut up,” I mumbled over my crunching.
“Just focus on happy, kind, nonviolent things. I don’t think you can bring down a plane with one leg if your other three limbs know better. But if you choose to use your ‘glitch’ to get some nookie on the plane, that’s your prerogative. I’ll text you your hotel information in a few days. Gotta run, love.”
“Thad—”
Aannd that was that.
I stared at the celebrity signature on my cereal box. How far back did this morning’s events set my plan to make the man of my dreams fall in love with me? It was hard to say. I collapsed on the sofa, set my bowl beside me, and grabbed my laptop.
“Back away, Trzy.” I gave her the stink eye when she poked her nose near my marshmallow treat.
A quick internet search for Cage Monaghan brought up picture after picture ofme.
Minnesota’s Quarterback Shows Concern for Disabled Woman Arrested at Charity Golf Tournament
Unidentified Woman Threatens Security at Charity GolfTournament– Monaghan Helps Police Catch Her.
Yeah, sure, that really happened. After more of the same and photos to accompany every headline, I shut my laptop and fed my face while watchingSons of Anarchyon Netflix. Some days reality sucked. Netflix was the perfect drug and my addiction to binge-watching series on it was borderline committable.
I missed my friend Lindsay, but I didn’t miss being her roommate. There were those in life who were destined to live productive lives, real “Be the Change” people, then there were those who subscribed to Netflix like a religion. Lindsay was a nurse who traveled with Doctors without Boarders. I streamed shows on Netflix. To each their own.
Just as the show hit a good part and my purring cat was draped over my lap, there was a knock at my door. I paused my show. “Jax, Jax, Jax, I love that ass of yours.” I winked at the screen which was paused on Charlie Hunnam’s naked backside.
Everson was on the opposite side of my peephole. “Be nice, Lake. He did get you bailed out,” I mumbled to myself.
I opened the door, forcing a smile. “Yes?”
His gaze moved along my face without looking at my eyes, then down my neck and to my chest as his head inched forward a bit, eyes slightly squinted.
“Dandruff?”
“What?” I looked down at my chest. “Oh, no it’s…” I brushed the crumbs away then wiped my mouth and cheeks with the back of my hand because I was just. That. Sexy. “They’re crispy treat crumbs.”
Everson always looked at me the same way, the way I imagined he’d look at a train wreck.
“About this morning?—”
“Don’t.” I shook my head and held up my hand. “I got too emotionally invested in a situation that wasn’t any of my business and I apologize. I have a terrible habit of lighting a match before looking to see if anything around me is flammable. I just… react on impulse. I appreciate you sending Flint to get me out of jail and dealing with my impounded vehicle. Honestly, I didn’t know what I was going to do. I don’t have any family here and I haven’t really made friends yet.”
Another downside to being a Netflix addict.
“Flint?”
