“No,” I whispered as regret kicked me in the gut.
“I’m under a lot of stress right now, and I’m not trying to take it out on you. I have this amazing team that could go all the way, and I’ve been given this opportunity and I don’t want to let them down. Some of these guys have been playing for years and they’re tired and they want to retire, but they want the ring first. So I have to work twice as hard as all the veteran quarterbacks out there because the probability of me making some rookie mistake that could cost my whole team their chance at the title is really fucking high because I am in many ways still a rookie.”
Rubbing my hands over my face, I tried to get my shit together because the chance of me losing it with him at the moment was as high as his chance of making that season-ending rookie mistake. “I’m sorry.”
Tongue bite.
I was sorry, but I was also pissed, and confused, and wondering why the hell this was happening to us and if we would make it out in one piece.
Cage sighed. “I didn’t want this to be a mistake. I still don’t want it to be a mistake. I want to make this work. I’m trying, but if it’s too much for you then you need to tell me. I’ll understand. Okay?”
Oh my God …
He broke my heart, like no one had ever broken my heart before. Breathing felt impossible. My lungs refused to draw in air.
Don’t cry, Lake! Hold it together. Hold it together. Hold ittogether…
“I’ll see you in a couple days. Love you.” He slung his bag over his shoulder and grabbed the back of my neck pulling me in for a quick kiss.
“Bye,” I whispered as he walked off.
When I heard the back door close, I pressed one hand to the wall and my other to my heart, clasping the knife he just jabbed into it, as I lowered to my knees, sobs wracking my body.
I was a mistake. We were a mistake.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
IT’S YOU
“Idon’t believe it.”Penny grabbed the bottle of wine from me. “And I’m cutting you off because you’re a light weight. I bet you can’t even stand straight now.”
I stared at the bags of my belongings cluttering the floor just inside my front door. Trzy and I were home again.
“Funny…” The word slurred from my lips. “I was going to let the lease on this place go in February. I guess fate knew something I didn’t.”
Penny shook her head. She could shake her head all she wanted, but it wouldn’t change my situation.
“There’s no way he thinks you’re a mistake. I have never in my life met a guy who looks and talks about a woman the way Cage Monaghan worships you.”
I wanted to cry more, but the alcohol had dried up my tears. “Bad timing, I guess. Maybe I can just be his off-season fling.”
“The guy tried to get you pregnant, more than once. That’s not a fling, honey. That’s a lifetime commitment. He said he wanted to marry you.”
I shook my head. “No. When I asked if he was proposing he said, ‘sure.’” I laughed because every other reaction hurt too damn bad. “I don’t even want to be here. I want to leave him a note that says, ‘good luck, hope you get your ring,’ then I wantto go back to San Francisco and hold my new niece, Harley, and go to lunch with Jessica, and bug Luke at work between patients.”
Penny leaned forward and grabbed my hand, giving it a firm squeeze. “You want to feel loved.”
After staring at her hand on mine for a few moments, I looked up and nodded. My tear ducts decided to work again. “I want to feel grounded again.”
Penny stood. “I get it. And I don’t regret most things in my life, but the running? That I regret. Wait until he gets home and if you still want to go, then walk away. But don’t run. OK?”
I wiped the stream of tears from my cheeks. “Okay.”
CAGE
We won.One more game until the playoffs, but we already secured a first round bye. The second I stepped off the bus, I ran to my truck, desperate to get home—desperate to get to Lake. I hated how we left things. It ate me alive for three days. I wanted to call. I wanted to text, but I needed to stay focused. I knew the words would mean more in person.
“Lake?” I called. Her vehicle wasn’t in the garage, but it made no sense that she wouldn’t be there, given the late hour.
