“Let me get this straight.He kinda sorta but not 100 percent thought you were on the pill and you just… were OK with being his baby mama?” Penny handed me a glass of wine.
I shook my head. “Baby.”
She rolled her eyes and tucked her leg under her as she sat at my kitchen table across from me. “A little red wine is good for baby and good for mama, that’s assuming you’re even pregnant. Please tell me you’ve considered the real possibility that you’re not actually pregnant.”
“I have, but I have this really strong feeling that I am.”
“Nausea?”
I shook my head.
“Overly tired?”
I shrugged. “Well, no more than normal.”
“Tender, swollen breasts?”
Head shake.
“Missed period?”
I rolled my eyes. “This just happened yesterday.”
“Exactly, honey. Feeling schmeeling. Take it from the expert.” Penny jabbed a thumb at her chest. “It’s not as easy toget pregnant as you think. If it were… I’d have twenty kids.” She smirked. “With twenty different fathers.”
“But we had it twice. That’s a lot of sperm and they can live in my cervical fluid for three to five days.”
“First, stop bragging about being nailed to the pantry doortwice.”
I giggled, shaking my head.
“And second, I think you need to stay off the internet. Google porn, my-young-sexy-quarterback-screwing friend. Don’t Google the lifespan of sperm.”
I stared into my boring glass of water. “It’s so weird. We’ve been dating for three months and we could be having a baby together. My friend Lindsay will call me irresponsible. She abides by the time rule. No insta-love. Every event in life should be properly spaced on a timeline. She doesn’t understand how coming so close to death changes all of that. Time is too precious to waste. I don’t want to plan. I want to live.”
“I hear ya, honey. But be prepared… you’re both pretty high right now. There’s nowhere to go but down. Try to bring yourself back to the surface before life does it for you. Living comes with so much heartache, especially for those of us whoreallylive.” She winked. “But’s it’s worth it, even when you’re up late reading porn while your husband snores and releases SBDs, the kind that burn your lungs and make your eyes water. The kind you can actually taste.”
My nose scrunched. “No.”
“Yes, ma’am. Not gonna sugarcoat it for you. Those pheromones that you crave? The ones that conceal garlic breath, armpit odor, and SBDs? You become immune to their power, and then you’re left with one stinky son of a bitch. Don’t get me wrong. It doesn’t mean that you don’t still love the stinkySOB, it just means it takes so much more than a look to wet your pussy. It takes a full moon, a recent shower, a bottle of cologne, a gallon of mouth wash, and at least three glasses of wine… oh, and a bottle of lube.” Penny sighed. “Damn hormones.”
“That’s so…” I grimaced because that was my “delusional” life with Cage. It only took one look, and I honestly couldn’t remember thinking he was stinky. I even loved—craved—his sweat after a workout.
“Life, honey. It’s just life. I never promised Rupert forever… not even in our wedding vows. I think the chances of going to my grave as his wife are pretty damn good at this point, but if not, I know we’ll end it amicably. I don’t really believe humans are meant to mate for life. I think that behavior is for animals who survive on instinct, not reason.”
“And does he agree?”
“Absolutely. After all, I’m his second wife.”
“I’m… speechless. My parents still do it like rabbits.”
Penny shrugged. “Maybe they’re the exception. Or maybe they enjoy recreational drugs.”
“I doubt my parents…” I bit my lip and rolled my eyes to the ceiling. “Hmm, you could be right.”
“Everyone has their own story.” She winked and I knew she was referring to my “story” with Cage. “Make yours memorable. That’s the best you can hope for.”
“And if I’m pregnant?”
