One thing he was certain of was that when Indigo had asked for that kiss when she’d been lying out there, naked on the forest floor, was that she believed it would be the last thing she ever did. She’d thought she was going to die, and she’d wanted his lips on hers as she took that first step into whatever lay beyond this world.
He didn't take her lack of faith in his ability to keep her alive until help arrived as an insult, if anything, he loved that she saw him as more than a miraculous healer. She was right in everything she’d said to him that night. When he looked at himself, all he ever saw was a man whohad always wanted to save lives. It had been his entire identity for as long as he could remember, born from a desire to try to gain his parents’ love and approval, over time, it had become all he was.
But it wasn't how Indigo saw him.
She saw him as the man who had saved her in a different way. She didn't care about her body, it had been used and abused so many times by so many different people that she no longer cared about what happened to it.
What she cared about was her soul, and that was what she was crediting him with breathing new life into. It was the most amazing compliment anyone had ever given him, and there was no way in hell he was going to let her die before he got a chance to tell her that.
After she’d passed out, they’d moved her into the back of a nearby vehicle and covered her with blankets. Thunder had called Eagle and asked their boss to find the nearest trauma surgeon they could trust, and on the drive there, he’d sat in the backseat, his girl cradled on his lap, swaddled in blankets, his hands pressed against her wound, willing life into her with a desperation he’d never felt before.
By some miracle, her heart had still been beating, her lungs still filling with air, by the time they reached the small clinic Eagle had given them directions to. It had taken the surgeon nearly four hours to patch Indigo back up, and it was clear the entire time that the woman was shocked that Indigo was even alive, much less that she made it through surgery and out the other side.
While the woman had insisted that she keep Indigo close throughout her recovery, Voodoo knew they needed to get her back home. He’d shot Dr. Gardner, the blood on the houseboat confirmed it, but he didn't know how badly he’d injured the man. There was a chance the scientist was dead, that they were all safe now, but there was an equal chance he was still out there, still hunting them, still desperate to get them back.
No way would he take any chances when it came to Indigo and her safety.
So they’d kept her with the surgeon for the first twenty-four hours only, before loading her onto a plane and flying her back to their place.
The entire time, he’d sat there, monitoring her vitals, refusing toleave her side even though he hadn't slept in days, was still filthy from the days spent traipsing through the forest, expecting at any second to find her flatlining.
It wasn't that Indigo didn't want to live, he knew she did. She was battling those voices in her head with every ounce of strength she had to give, but he also knew she was somewhat indifferent to living or dying. She was on the cusp of a brand-new life, he knew she understood that. That he wasn't just offering her a place to stay and a support system to get her life on the track that she wanted. He was offering her everything, a home, a family, a job, and himself.
Every lacking part of his unloved soul would be laid at her feet if she would just open her eyes and wake up.
Each hour that passed, her body grew stronger, her condition more stable. There was no sign of infection in her wounds, a miracle in and of itself, and her vitals were all stable and improving. Nothing indicated that she shouldn’t make a full recovery, her body’s enhanced ability to heal doing its job perfectly.
Yet she didn't wake.
No matter how many times he begged her, no matter how many times he pleaded with her, no matter what he promised her, or how hard he worked to convince her how amazing her life was going to be going forward.
None of it made any difference.
Indigo just lay there, in his bed, tucked under his covers, an IV delivering the fluids her body needed along with antibiotics and painkillers. In theory, Indigo shouldn’t need any pain medication thanks to what Dr. Gardner had done to her, but he wasn't taking any chances. She was weak and had already been through so much. He wasn't going to risk her being in any pain if her system had been thrown into chaos.
While she was under, the surgeon had also taken a look at her broken leg. The woman had been in shock when she’d seen the damage done, and seemed unable to comprehend the fact that Indigo had been able to use her leg without passing out from agonizing pain, even though he’d explained briefly without much detail, that she didn't feel pain like a normal person.
Now there was a metal plate in there, holding her bones together,her leg in a cast to protect it while it healed. The burns on her body had mostly already healed, although they’d left behind puckered scars that would likely mean the skin beneath would never feel normal sensation.
But she was alive, healing, and should be waking up.
“Come on,” he urged, brushing his thumb across the knuckles of the hand he held in his own.
It was so much smaller than his, her fingers so thin and delicate, so easily snapped and broken, and he almost hated her ability not to be able to feel physical pain while still being forced to endure every drop of emotional and psychological pain inflicted on her by the people in her life who had never deserved her sweet heart.
“It’s time to wake up, honey,” he coaxed for the millionth time.
Hard as he was trying to believe in what she’d told him, that he was more than his ability to heal, it wasn't easy. Voodoo knew his teammates saw him as family, as one of them, regardless of the fact that he’d never been as angry and bitter as the rest of them about what had been done to them, even though he’d never had that same drive to destroy that fueled them.
They accepted him, but he’d never accepted himself.
Always examined himself and found himself lacking.
Never more so than in these last few days.
Saving Indigo was everything he wanted, but it was the one thing he couldn’t seem to do. In the forest, he hadn't been able to save her until she was ready to be saved, and now he had no idea if the only thing preventing her from opening her eyes was his lack of ability to save her or her own lack of ability to believe that her future was going to be nothing like her past.
They were quite a pair. Neither of them found themselves worthy. Their parents had set them on paths that had led them to self-doubt, insecurity, and an inability to see themselves as others saw them.
