“Well, you do now, honey.” She had that and so much more. All she had to do was ignore the voices whispering in her head that ending her life was the only answer, and give him a chance to prove it to her.
One side of her mouth lifted in a small smile. “Honey. No one ever used endearments with me either.”
“I know, sweet Indy. You’ve only ever had people in your life who didn't care about you, but that’s changed now,” he urged her to believe him. All he needed was one chance to show her that, but she had to hold on long enough for him to try.
“Too late,” she whispered, and she managed to pry her eyes open as she said the words as though she needed him to understand. “Can't … not strong enough … nothing to live for … they’re right, this is the best way.”
“Those voicesaren'tright,” he whisper-yelled. “The best way is to fight, to live. I know you don’t believe it, not really, but I swear my team and I consider you family now.”
“Don’t even know me,” she shot back.
“Doesn’t matter. I know you're like us. I know you did what we couldn’t do and survived on your own. I know that you’ve been through hell all your life, and all I want to do is wrap you up in a warm, soft cocoon and never let anything hurt you again. I will kill anything that tries.”
“Sweet, but?—”
“No buts,” he cut her off, not even willing to let her entertain anyexcuses, because if he allowed the whispers in her head to get a foothold, she might not be able to come back from it.
At least now he was pretty sure he knew why he couldn’t heal her.
Indigo didn't want to be healed. She was ready to die.
If he couldn’t convince her otherwise, then … he was going to lose her.
“You have a place to belong in this world,” he assured her as he palmed her cheek and let his fingertips caress her icy skin.
“I want to believe that, but?—”
“What did I say about buts?”
“It’s too much.” She whimpered, and tears filled her eyes, making them seem warmer somehow, two glowing globes of amber that he felt like he was drowning in.
“You can do this.”
“I don’t want to fight anymore, it’s easier to just … give up.”
Voodoo could tell the admission cost her, because she let her eyes fall closed, but he caressed the soft skin on her temple, coaxing her to open up to him again, and after hesitating for a few more seconds, her eyes opened.
“Maybe giving up is easier, but you're not fighting alone anymore.”
“I'm not worth fighting for.”
“You're worth more than you realize,” he told her gently, wishing for a way to heal a heart and soul so battered and broken they could no longer see their own value.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, a lone tear sliding down her cheek as her eyes fell closed.
“Come on, Indigo, don’t do this,” Voodoo begged, but she was still beneath him, her breathing shallow, as she refused to keep fighting and let the insidious thoughts in her head win as they convinced her to let go.
If she wasn't going to meet him halfway to fight, then he’d just have to fight for both of them. Indigo was cold, her body temperature dropping so low her system no longer bothered to attempt to get it back up.
Pulling back the blankets he’d covered her with when he found this cave for them to spend the night in, Voodoo began to strip her out of her clothes. If she was hypothermic, then sharing body heat would bethe best way to combat that. Once he had her naked, he stripped out of his own clothes, then lay down on the blanket he’d spread out to protect her from the cold ground and tucked the blankets over both of them.
Maneuvering Indigo so she was draped across his body, one of his arms banded around her, their legs tangled together, Voodoo set the fingers of his other hand against the pulse point in her neck.
Even though it thudded sluggishly against him, he held onto that.
As long as he could feel her pulse, she was alive, he hadn't lost her.
Life had beaten Indigo Yates down to the point where she honestly believed that it wasn't possible that anybody could care about her or find anything of value about her. Add in that suicidal thoughts were a product of the experimental drugs Dr. Gardner kept messing with, and it was a miracle she hadn't given up long before now.
