“Well, it seems the only gin joint in town is the one we’re in now” Dean remarks, looking around at the band packing up, lights shuttering off. The crowd has dissipated substantially, and there’s sitting room at the bar for the first time all night.
We walk over to the bar and choose stools at the left-end of the bar, just under a candle lit chandelier. The bar is long, wooden and only a little sticky. Dean flags the bartender down and orders an old-fashioned for himself and a ginger ale for me.
“What did you think of the music?” I ask. He hunches over the bar, feet resting on the stool, stirring the ice in his drink around. I try to sit up straight for once in my life.
“It was very good,” Dean answers, not looking up from his small glass. He gulps down some of the brown liquor. “It was nice that they dedicated that last song to you.Madeline, right?”
“Yeah. The one the album is named after,” I confirm.
“And after you.”
I look down at my own drink, feeling flustered.
“Do you miss him?” Dean asks.
I pause a beat. This could very easily be a trick question if it were coming from anyone else. “Not like I used to.”
“No?”
“No. Not since yesterday.”
“What changed?” Dean asks, turning to face me.
I squirm on my stool for a second while I generate thoughts in my head about what changed. In reality, not much has. I’m still neurotic with health anxiety. But I’ve lived. “Exposure therapy?” I suggest to him, unable to articulate an answer to his question in a way that matters.
“You’re asking me?” He laughs.
“I’m not. I’m saying. Exposure therapy,” I decide. “I’ve done more living the last four days than I have in the last four years.”
“You haven’t gone to Martell’s Pharmacy in four days.” Dean smiles. “You should be proud.”
“I bet Craig is thrilled.” I scowl.
“Honestly,” Dean takes another swig of his drink. “Fuck Craig.”
I laugh and it sounds likeBAHAHA.“What? Where is this coming from?”
“It was a real sleezeball thing for him to do. To hire me and ask me to get rid of you. He should have helped you, not enabled you. Do you want to know the real reason I wanted the bonus?”
“What?”
“To pay for Sierra’s college. It would cover her first semester. She’s graduating high school, you know, and my Mom….”
I smile. It’s sweet that he wants to take care of his sister like that.
He flashes a diabolical grin back at me.
“I thought you hated me at first,” I laugh, sipping on my drink.
“I didn’t know you at the time,” Dean defends himself.
“But you know me now?”
“I like to think I do.”
I raise an eyebrow. “How so?”
“Well, first I know you take 20 milligrams of Lexapro and 10 milligrams of Abilify every morning.”
