“I know this is complicated with me,” I say. My voice is hoarse. “But I need you to kiss me, Jae.”
He presses a delicate kiss to the top of my head, his hands on the nape of my neck pulling me forward.
I release a coarse laugh. “That is not the kind of kiss I meant.”
“What kind of kiss did you mean?” Jae asks, his eyes killer and vicious.
“You know the kind I mean.”
He presses another kiss to my forehead. “Like this?”
I am growing antsy and impatient. “No, try again.”
“Why don’t you just show me?” He laughs a little, a smile growing on his tender lips.
If I could just reach out and touch them…
I do.
I run my thumb over his full, pink lips, stained orange by our drinks. I really, really want to climb inside this man and make my home here. Why don’t I show him?
I put a gentle kiss on his lips, much gentler than my body yearns for. A kiss that says,you are worth the wait.He takes a shuddering breath, and I can tell he too is growing impatient by the way both of his hands have slid down to my ass, bracing me tightly, closely against him.
“Is that what you mean, love?” Jae asks me, his hands cupping my butt, his arms straining, desperate to pick me up.
His voice echoes in my head. He doesn’t want me to regret it. Let’s go slow.
“It’s what I meant.”
He finally lifts me in the air, and I wrap my legs around him. I get a whiff of his cologne, and I am immediately an addict. He smells like citrus neroli and fresh ginger. He places me onto my sofa, and stares at me for what seems like an eternity before leaning down over me and slowly pressing his lips into mine.
His kiss lasts only a few seconds, but it feels like another miniature eternity before he slides his tongue over mine, giving me a taste of blood orange and his breath. The butterflies in my tummy take over and before I can reach up and grab his face to pull him into me, he’s broken away and taken a step back.
“I think I should go home,” he says, hurriedly turning around.
“What? Why?” I’m startled back into real life, out of the daydream I was in.
“It’s getting late,” Jae says, still not turning around, searching for his long-forgotten sunglasses.
“So what?” I ask, craving another hit from his touch. Iaman addict. The words come tumbling out of my mouth before I can stop them yet again. “Just stay here.”
That gets him to turn around. And my eyes are immediately drawn to what he clearly didn’t want me to see. The front of his pants bulges spectacularly out of shape and I am enthralled. The monster inside of me, totally pleased, saying,this is exactly what I wanted.But it’s clear that this isn’t what Jae wants.
I want him to stay and shed his clothes. Give me all he’s got.
“You don’t have to stay,” I gulp.
“I’ll call you before you go to bed.”
Who is the one who wants to go slow? Me or him?
It’s decidedly him when he’s trailing out the door, and I am left on my couch alone.
15
It’s my turn to go after him. Part of me wants to rampage, to tornado all over the room. How could he leave right now? Part of me wants to comfort him.It’s okay, I don’t bite.
I haul myself up and off the sofa, and bolt for the door. It’s only been a minute. He could still be out there.There is no need to unlatch the lock, so I just swing the door open into the apartment, and sure enough, there he is. Pacing the hall like he’s just gotten fired.
