At our building, I unlock my door and Jae follows me in. Lily greets us like a silly little clown, paw over paw in the doorway, and there’s a smile on Jae’s face as he coos at her like the little baby she is.
I put the tea kettle on and get two mugs out of the cabinet while Jae walks over to the window where I have my painting station set up.
“It’s not quite as big as the studio in the old apartment, but it works,” I tell him, as he flips through some of the sketches I left out.
I’m turning to pour hot water when I hear him ask, “What’s this?”
Ah, fuck. It’s the painting of him.
“It’s a gift,” I swallow my pride. “It’s for you.”
He studies it for a moment, his face unsure what to make of what he’s taking in.
“Who is that?” he asks.
“It’s you.”
“This is gorgeous, Riley.”
“You’re just saying that.”
He asks me a string of questions and I don’t get a chance to answer any of them before he asks another. “How long did this take you? Why me? Did you do this all by yourself?”
“Two weeks. Yes, I did this by myself.”
I don’t answer why I chose to paint him. It’s because I couldn’t stop thinking about him. He sets the painting down back where he found it and puts me on the spot again.
“Why’d you paint me, though? We barely knew each other when you started this.”
I take a heaping gulp of air. How do I answer this without making it seem like I’m a creep?
The grin on his face tells me everything I need to know. He’s putting two and two together from my silence. “Why’d you paint me, Riley?” Jae’s voice is sing-songy as if he’s caught me in some bad act.
“Why do you think, Jae?” I return his vivacious smile.I can put him on the spot too.
He swiftly, unexpectedly pulls me into his arms, and I am the one in the hot seat again.
“Be honest with me, Riley.” I shudder as he presses a hand into the small of my back, the other hand traveling up my neck to the back of my head, tousling my hair in a way that suggests less like,you young scamp, you!and more like,so fucking sexy.“Why’d you paint me?”
When his eyes meet mine, I have no choice but to answer honestly. I try to make it clear that all I’ve been doing since yesterday is yearning for the sweetness of his lips and the cradle of his arms.
“Don’t be cruel, Riley. Tell me.”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”
I can’t tell if he’s satisfied with my answer, because his face doesn’t change. The only thing that changes is that his grip on my neck tightens, and I could easily be brainwashed into killing for this man. There is no way I could break free from his grip, even if I wanted to, butI don’t.
“I need you to kiss me,” I tell him.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about you either, Riley.” Jae’s face is wickedly close to mine, and if he weren’t holding my neck, I’d crane closer and kiss him like I was on fire. But he has a hold on me. “But I want you to be sure before we go any further.”
I’m sure, I think to myself. “I’m sure.” I say aloud to him, willing him with my mind to touch me anywhere besides my neck and back.
“Are you, love?” Jae’s eyes are conniving thieves, draining my energy with them. This is almost as good as any kiss. I am completely and utterly tempted. If I weren’t any smarter, I’d think Aphrodite was this man. “I don’t want you to regret anything.”
“I could never regret you.”
But he’s hit a heartstring and my confidence is dwindling. I have been known to regret—even if the only thing making me regret is grief.
